moosh in indy.

August 30, 2010

I know terrible things have happened to good people for as long as good people have been around to have terrible things happen to them.

Before 2007 I didn’t know anyone with a special needs child, I certainly didn’t know anyone who had lost a child. I didn’t even know anyone who had experienced a miscarriage aside from my mom (which had she not had a miscarriage, I wouldn’t be here.) Hell, I’m not even sure I knew a Jewish person. (Oh Utah…)

Three years later and it’s safe to say those above statements have changed.

I worry a lot more than I used to. I’ve watched my friends get really sick, have surgery, get in accidents, lose babies, lose spouses, lose houses, experience natural disasters and even lose everything they own.

The possibility of horrible things happening probably isn’t a whole lot higher than it was three years ago, but my awareness is higher, I listen for that other shoe a lot more than I used to.

However, the world has become a lot smaller since I started living some of it online. I almost wonder if google has seen a drop in use as social social media rises. Real people (often strangers) talking to each other online. Telling their stories. Within 24 hours of posting about Addie’s CVS someone told me about another mom in a completely different part of the country who’s son has the same condition.

It’s one thing to read a medical article about your child’s sickness, it’s a completely different thing to email a real person and share battle stories of catching vomit midair.

If I were to get in my car and drive right now I could end up at a friends house no matter what direction I drove in or how long I drove for. If something were to happen to my family I would have real people to talk to. Real people who have been there and lived to tell the tale. (road trip!)

Would I rather go back to living in my safe little bubble where bad things only happen in the newspaper? No. Because I wouldn’t have you and your unending (and sometimes useless) knowledge.

Very few people hear a shoe drop in a bubble, leaving one feeling alone and vulnerable.

And alone is a horrible place to be.

I’m so happy right here with you. No matter what.

(Also, are shoe fixers still called cobblers? Or should I get my nose out of fairy tales and into 2010 vernacular?)

Comments off.

This was such a great post. For so many reasons.

So true. But there are still so many in my day-to-day life who don’t get the real-ness of online connections. I belong to a group of moms and we have been together for 10 years online. We came together on ParentsPlace as Mothers to be of December 2000 Babies. Many of us are still a part of each other’s lives. We moved from PP, to another forum, and now we mainly use Facebook for our purposes, but we are there. Connected. They are my friends. For real. People who don’t have an online presence don’t get this. But it is true- you become friends with these online people. You share their joys and their sorrows. You look forward to news of new babies and successful transitions. These are real relationships.

Thank-you for always keeping it real- even when it is a hard thing to do. ((hugs))

I’ve had that same experience, but when our daughter was diagnosed with an extremely rare skin condition it was the internet that became the backbone of many relationships formed with people all across the country and world. If it weren’t for the internet we’d be alone thinking it only ever happens to us. Thank goodness we have people to support us and who we can support, online.

I think this is an excellent perspective. Our field of vision has grown so that we’re exponentially more aware of the blessings and disasters that occur to acquaintances, strangers, and new friends alike.

When I read cobbler, my mind went straight to fruit cobbler. Oh, well…

I love the internet for making the world seem like such a small, intimate place.

Hugs all around.

Weep weep.

Also, your red lipstick is awesome. Am jealous.

I looked at that series of pictures and I recognized so many of the faces – I love that the Internet has given me that. And you, Casey. One of these days I’m coming down for coffee.

Yes. Exactly. Everytime I’m going anywhere.. I immediately think: Hey I know her, her her and her there. And my husband immediately thinks… no dear, this is a FAMILY vacation, no tweetups today. Darn.

I tried to be in this photo box of yours but I think my photo got disqualified as the nazi photo person literally ripped the camera out of your hand for the ‘self-photo’ .. oh well!

I’m glad I know you and all of your world too.

I feel the same way. I never really comprehended going through some of the tradgedies that some of the wonderful people whose blogs I read have been through. It’s unimaginable and yet now I know it’s real, which I knew before but not like this, and it does hit people and it can hit anyone. My “it won’t happen to me” fantasy land walls are being torn down more all the time. Because it just might. It DOES happen.
And while I haven’t been around long enough yet to have made real FRIEND friends, I look forward to doing so and building that net of people I love and trust as though they were with me here every day.
Thanks for writing this. I feel the same way.

And yes, I think they’re still called cobblers.

Hamlet's Mistress Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 9:45 am

I PROMISE I only hit submit once.

So thankful to be in this little corner of the world with YOU. You are amazing.

My wish is that I pass on some kind of useless knowledge to you every single day!

I say either way, stick with cobbler. It’s a charming word.

And I agree with you whole-heartedly. Being in a bubble doesn’t make bad things less likely to happen, just makes you less prepared and supported when the time comes to deal with them.

You’re a wise lady!

You are in a good place, I feel this, too.

Steph

“And alone is a horrible place to be.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Thank you.

If you say cobbler in Georgia, you best be talkin’ peach.

(amenx10 to everything else in post.)

mmmm…cobbler.

Heyyyyyy, that “someone” was me! *fangirly squee*

Heh.

Hey, thanks for this post today. I sometimes need to be reminded that no matter how sad and alone I feel; I do have friends in cyberspace AND meatspace who care. Too often when I’m going through an emotional time (Hi, life!) I’m afraid to burden someone with my stories. It’s nice to remember that my friends are my friends because they never feel burdened.

It is such a small world and each day it seems to get smaller and smaller due to this little computer sitting in front of me.

What a wonderful reminder. As always you really get to the heart of the matter and say things that should be said, that too many of us (I think) are afraid to say. Alone IS a terrible place to be, and one I tend to retreat to just when it’s the worst possible time for me to do so–thanks for the unintentional reminder.:)

As someone who found her house, her husband, her puppy, and her car online having found and made (and sadly lost) friends online doesn’t seem odd to me. Until, I start trying to explain how I know X, Y or Z… But, I wouldn’t trade any of it because I know there is always a support system out there if I’m willing to reach out. Thank you for this beautiful post. I love reading you ever day, almost makes me wish I were in IN.

I love the closeness that has become the online world.

It’s comforting, isn’t it? To know that when you open yourself up, there will be people there to stitch you back together. And IF that other shoe ever does drop, someone will be waiting with slippers…

Am crying as I read through this for the third time. Beautiful post friend. Love it.

I love this little world.

Lovely post. I saw my face down at the bottom….I’m happy to be in the community.

This community is such such such a lifeline…

Hummmmmmm…I believe a shoe-maker is called a Cordwainer..and a fixer is still called a cobbler. But don’t quote me on that. LOL!

Today I sent two of your posts to the same friend. This was one of them. (The other was your infertility affecting friendships post.)

I was totally expecting this to be a post including a cobbler recipe at the end, not a metaphor for friends.

I’ll be your cobbler any day. xoxo

I’ve been cheering for my friends from the Internet a lot lately. This community is amazing. Thanks for this!

I would like to think that we (you, I) hang out with a pretty awesome group of women.

xoxox as always.

As always, beautifully said. Thank you for being a part of my world, and letting me into yours. My life is so much richer for knowing you.

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you. So very much.

Yes, this is exactly why I love our community!

[...] that still threads a group of us together. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I read a post that hit straight to the heart of the connection that remained so [...]

i just love your honesty and your blog. i love how no matter what happens in life, we can find community to help us get through it. be it online or in person. i love that you can drive in any direction and find support! you are blessed!!

Thank you for not posting the picture of me smothering you. That is all.

I am so so proud to be amongst that bunch!

This makes me happy to know you. For reals.

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