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goodbye aunt cheryl.
July 19, 2010

I sat in a parking lot on the phone tonight and listened to my favorite aunt die.

There wasn’t much to hear, my family and cousins surrounding her bed, my uncle offering a prayer of which I could only hear the word “smile.”

My cousin gave me the play by play, my sister was holding her hand, her heart rate had slowed from 35 to 21 BPM in a matter of moments. She said she looked peaceful (my sister later added that there was a lot of snoring involved. Way to be Cheryl, way to be.)

I cried a little. I mean, every quality attribute I possess can be traced back to Aunt Cheryl.

Aunt Cheryl and me.

Then remembered that I had never seen Cheryl cry. Ever.

This is a woman who spent nearly half a century in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic.

She’d be ticked off if she knew I was crying. So I quit.

You see, we Mormons have a different view on death. And Aunt Cheryl? Was totally a Mormon. Maybe the best one there ever was or will be.

Death is a separation of spirit and physical body. It is not the end. Her spirit is still very much alive and it was still very much alive as my dad held the phone up to her ear and let me say my earthly goodbyes to her.

Her spirit just happened to be stuck in a very broken and very tired body.

“The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame.”

Alma 40:23

And what was the first thing she did with that proper and perfect frame?

Threw gang signs from heaven.

Yeesh Cheryl, I get it. You’re happy to be there. No need to show off.

Then all of a sudden there were rainbows over the cornfields on my drive home.

You win Cheryl. You win.

I will love you forever.

Until we meet again.

Related posts:

  1. Goodbye.
  2. Let this be your good deed.
  3. Origins of curly hair, cat abuse and chub.
  4. blame the dog? nah, it was totally the window.
  5. Phoney irony.

Comments off.

By sarah on 07.19.10 10:14 pm | Permalink

She sounds like an amazing woman and I am glad your life has been touched by knowing her. You’ll see her again.

By Lauren H on 07.19.10 10:17 pm | Permalink

What a beautiful post. Your Aunt Cheryl sounds absolutely amazing. Thank you for sharing this with us.

By Barb @ getupandplay on 07.19.10 10:19 pm | Permalink

Oh, Casey. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Aunt. I’m so happy that she’s been freed from her earthly body and that you are feeling peace right now. I know how close you were and that you will continue to miss her.

By Marty on 07.19.10 10:21 pm | Permalink

I’m sorry for your loss -

By Sarah @ Ordinary Days on 07.19.10 10:23 pm | Permalink

Sorry for your (temporary) loss. She sounds like she was a really wonderful person.

By Kim on 07.19.10 10:29 pm | Permalink

Im so sorry. I love that she sent a rainbow. : ) XOXO

By Swiggy on 07.19.10 10:37 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry.

Unfortunately, those are the only words I can come up with at the moment.

By Malia on 07.19.10 10:38 pm | Permalink

Threw gang signs from heaven…awesome! I’m so glad you had her in your life.

By Jen L. on 07.19.10 10:44 pm | Permalink

So sorry she’s gone, but so glad you have the comfort of knowing you’ll see her again. She sounds awesome.

By HeidiLee on 07.19.10 10:45 pm | Permalink

wonderful words again – I am sure you were her favorite! ;)

By Piper of Love on 07.19.10 10:47 pm | Permalink

Glorious! Glory be <3

By Jenn on 07.19.10 10:53 pm | Permalink

I am, so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. What a beautiful tribute — we’re all a little better off knowing her through this post, I think.

By Pgoodness on 07.19.10 11:13 pm | Permalink

Your beliefs make me smile. Sometimes I think I could take a bit from here and there and there and make a religion I could stand behind. Many of your beliefs would be included. The way you see death is, oddly, peaceful

I’m sorry for the loss of your aunt, but glad she is at peace and already showing off for you. Xo

By Kim on 07.19.10 11:47 pm | Permalink

I love you! Bawlin over here. Heart with you. Can’t wait to see Cheryl run!

By Heidi on 07.20.10 12:29 am | Permalink

I’m so sorry for your (in this lifetime) loss. What a lovely and peaceful way to look at her death! I hope you experience lots of comfort and love while you and your family observe her passage!

By Carrie on 07.20.10 12:59 am | Permalink

Love you! Love you Aunt Cheryl!

You always have the perfect words to say. I hope you’ll be speaking at the funeral. My dear cousin, she did hold a very very special place in her heart reserved just for you! You two were kindred spirits! It’s hard to believe she’s gone; but I can’t help but to smile thinking of her running to her sweet reunion/party! I can’t wait to see her again!

By Headless Mom on 07.20.10 1:11 am | Permalink

Oh Casey. I’m so sorry for your loss but encouraged by your lovely words about her and her strong life. She will obviously be missed.

xoxo

By designHer Momma on 07.20.10 3:29 am | Permalink

It’s 3:26 AM as I read this. I am so very sad for you, because I know SO MUCH how terribly important she was to you.

The only hope we have is knowing that you will see Aunt Cheryl again, in a body that’s not broken, but restored to perfection.

xoxox
emily

By J from Ireland on 07.20.10 7:37 am | Permalink

So sorry for your loss, what a wonderful person your Aunt was, may she rest in peace.

By Mandi Bone on 07.20.10 7:46 am | Permalink

I am very sorry for your loss.

By Avitable on 07.20.10 8:06 am | Permalink

She sounds like a strong wonderful person, and while it might not be the end, it’s still sad to see someone you love pass on from this world. My condolences.

By Jenny on 07.20.10 8:38 am | Permalink

It was a comfort to me that my grandfather was with our Heavenly Father – but I was still sad for all of us here without him. My pastor said our time here is just a flash – soon we will all be together again. I hope happy memories prevail. You and your family are in my prayers.

By Cassie on 07.20.10 8:45 am | Permalink

dude you gave me chills.

Beautiful post. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

By Whit on 07.20.10 8:51 am | Permalink

hugs!

By Adventures In Babywearing on 07.20.10 9:09 am | Permalink

This is beautiful, Casey. I am so sorry for your loss, but I guess it’s ok I’m happy for Aunt Cheryl (and heaven’s) gain.

Love,
Steph

By Angela on 07.20.10 9:19 am | Permalink

That is great! What a moment to rejoice for her, she is free! I love this gospel!

By SciFi Dad on 07.20.10 9:22 am | Permalink

I’m sorry for your loss.

By Chris on 07.20.10 9:49 am | Permalink

Your first post on your aunt was so very beautiful (and it’s always touching to me to hear someone write about chronic and phantom pain like that), but to hear the things your aunt taught you was beautiful. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My thoughts for you and your family–including all those other cousins who think they were her favorite!:)

By Lisa in TX on 07.20.10 10:31 am | Permalink

You’ve got her crazy goofy smile. I love that, it looks so good on each of you.

By Law School Wife on 07.20.10 10:35 am | Permalink

It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone we love (even if it’s just for a while). Thinking of you.

By Windy on 07.20.10 10:44 am | Permalink

Thanks for sharing your love for your sweet aunt with us. We should all be so lucky and blessed to know someone like that in our lives who loves us so much in return!

By Bennie on 07.20.10 11:05 am | Permalink

You already know that Aunt Cheryl held a special place in our hearts as well. You have one more guardian angel watching over you.

By Heather on 07.20.10 11:08 am | Permalink

Thanks for sharing. I had a very special Aunt much like yours. She died way too young at age 52. It was very hard to lose her, but I knew she was finally at peace as she had been sick for awhile.

By Lucrecer on 07.20.10 11:44 am | Permalink

so sorry for your loss and rejoicing as i am sure the angels are to finally have her home. blessings to you and your family, casey.

By mommabird2345 on 07.20.10 12:07 pm | Permalink

Hugs to you and your family.

By Carina on 07.20.10 12:37 pm | Permalink

STOP MAKING ME CRY.

By Becky on 07.20.10 1:33 pm | Permalink

I’m Baptist but we view death the same way. It’s only goodbye for a little while and we know we’ll see them again in Heaven. Death is bittersweet but we always know they’re in a better place. Your aunt seems like she was fabulous.

By Mel on 07.20.10 3:08 pm | Permalink

what a lovely verse. being that i’m not mormon, i had not heard of that book before, but still a VERY lovely verse. so sorry for your loss. :(

By Jenny on 07.20.10 3:59 pm | Permalink

I am sorry for your loss. It is good knowing this goodbye is only temporary.

By Dominique on 07.20.10 7:17 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry for your loss.

By Ket on 07.20.10 7:36 pm | Permalink

That was lovely, a beautiful tribute to her life.

I’m so glad you had her.

By Jen on 07.20.10 9:08 pm | Permalink

So sorry for your loss- at least here on earth. It’s a comfort knowing it’s not truly the end. *hugs*

By Domestic Extraordinaire on 07.20.10 9:34 pm | Permalink

She sounds amazing and I am sure that you can’t wait until you meet again!

((hugs))

By Tweets that mention moosh in indy. » goodbye aunt cheryl. -- Topsy.com on 07.20.10 10:22 pm | Permalink

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Casey-moosh in indy., Casey-moosh in indy.. Casey-moosh in indy. said: new post. http://bit.ly/cJdx4j goodbye aunt cheryl. [...]

By Michelle on 07.21.10 4:03 am | Permalink

I’m glad you’ve got great memories of your aunt, and also the knowledge that this isn’t the end. Praying that your ‘year of firsts’ without her isn’t too hard.

By Lora on 07.21.10 8:32 am | Permalink

She sounds like a wonderful person, and I’m sorry for your loss. So glad you had many happy years to be together.

By Ohh Betsy! on 07.21.10 8:42 am | Permalink

Sorry for your loss, Casey. It sounds like she was amazing.

By Lauryn on 07.21.10 9:26 am | Permalink

She sounds like an incredible woman. It’s wonderful that you were able to say your goodbyes even if you couldn’t be there.

On a different note, the Moosh looks so much like you did when you were little!

By Sarah on 07.21.10 12:21 pm | Permalink

Casey, I pray you and your family will be comforted. But I am glad to see that you already have some verses of comfort and feel the assurance that you’ll see her again. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

I also think that Addie resembles you so much as a child! Beautiful picture.

By Angie on 07.21.10 1:09 pm | Permalink

Hugs to you. And while it’s a family’s loss, it’s heaven’s gain. Safe travels out west. Love the gorgeous picture. It’s amazing how losing someone gives us perspective on things.

By Elaine on 07.21.10 10:28 pm | Permalink

What a beautiful tribute to her. So glad she was a part of your earthly life and I know your reunion someday will be sweet…

By moosh in indy. » conflicted. on 07.22.10 12:02 am | Permalink

[...] about/contact archives disclosure/advertising moosh in indy. ← goodbye aunt cheryl. conflicted. July 22, [...]

By Elizabeth Kaylene on 07.22.10 1:49 pm | Permalink

I don’t think that death is the end, either. It just can’t be. I am so glad your aunt was your kindred spirit.

By Kellee on 07.23.10 6:52 pm | Permalink

Beautiful. <3

By moosh in indy. » Indillmissokansoradowyomah. on 07.25.10 1:16 am | Permalink

[...] (12:00 pm)Hot dinner in Kansas. (5:37 pm)Kansas was boring, but the clouds were dreamy.  (7 pm)Cheryl saying hi. (hopefully the rest of my life.) Sunset in Kansas. (9 [...]

By VDog on 07.25.10 12:52 pm | Permalink

XOXOXO

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