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on death and dogs.
February 26, 2010

I don’t want to be writing this post.

Because I don’t want to be writing about what I’m going to be writing about.

Last year my dad’s dog Katie passed away. Katie was old, diabetic, blind and somewhat paralyzed from a stroke. But she and Addie were thick as thieves and Katie taught Addie more about compassion than any other living creature could. Addie sobbed for days after Katie’s passing, and she still remembers her almost daily.

Goodbye Katie

Then my sister’s dog Delaney passed away from old age. Delaney treated Addie like her little baby. She let Addie crawl all over her and hug the daylights out of her and never once complained.

Miss Delaney

Addie has an understanding of heaven, and that when people go to heaven they are happy and taken care of. They no longer hurt or suffer. Katie can see and Delaney can walk without pain. Our religion teaches us that death is not the end, that we will be with our loved ones again in heaven for eternity. Now there’s no doctrine when it comes do dogs in heaven, but I can tell you if dogs aren’t there? It can’t possibly be considered heaven to Addie.

Addie even dressed up as Katie for Halloween.

lauging puppy

McKenzie was Katie’s little dog sister. McKenzie was always scared to death around Addie until recently. Addie became quieter, slower and gentler (not to mention bigger.) Addie and McKenzie came to a quiet understanding that they were friends, bonded by the spotted one.

walking the dogs

Do you see where I’m headed with this?

McKenzie got sick. McKenzie had surgery. McKenzie got more sick.

the moosh and mckenzie.

McKenzie had to be put to sleep.

I have to tell little miss.

I don’t want to.

Sometimes being the parent sucks.

Related posts:

  1. Are you a Halloween Humbug?
  2. the beach has gone to the dogs.
  3. Goodbye.
  4. wherein I fight to the death over (not in) green jell-o.

Comments off.

By nic @mybottlesup on 02.26.10 6:10 pm | Permalink

oh hun… i’m sorry. losing an animal is losing a family member. my thoughts are with you all. *HUGS*

By Jen on 02.26.10 6:12 pm | Permalink

oh my. I’m so sorry. That is not going to be a fun conversation *hugs*

By amy2boys on 02.26.10 6:33 pm | Permalink

Oh Casey I’m so sorry. We got our dog when my daughter was 7. My oldest son has no memory of life without Sam. Sam sleeps in his bottom bunk each night. They are buds. Sam is a healthy 12 year old, but he’s 12. I’m hoping 3 more years? When he goes we are all in for it big time.

Peter even talked about getting a puppy this year, so the boys might handle it better when it comes. We are worried enough to buy another creature that chews shoes (the horror) and poops in the house. Oy.

I’m thinking of you. This does indeed suck.

By Joanne on 02.26.10 6:39 pm | Permalink

Oh I am sorry. I hope your faith can help pull Addie through.

By Ally B on 02.26.10 6:39 pm | Permalink

Ugh… ugh ugh ugh. My dogs are my best friends (not in a depressing way, in a real bonded way, and losing dogs is a terrible thing to go through. I’ve been there to put my dogs to sleep, and I’ve worked in a vet office and seen others go through it too, and it’s terrible. My only advice is to keep telling her how McKenzie isn’t hurting anymore. (You probably don’t need my advice since you’ve had to do this before.) That’s the only thing that ever got me through it with my dogs.

They weren’t hurting anymore.

By Miss Grace on 02.26.10 6:45 pm | Permalink

Ooof

By Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire on 02.26.10 6:48 pm | Permalink

big big hugs to the both of you. that just stinks.

xo

By rachel on 02.26.10 6:51 pm | Permalink

OH.
:-(

Giant hugs and love from me to both of you xoxoxo

Strength and support, my friend. love.

By mommabird2345 on 02.26.10 6:53 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry. Telling our kids is the hardest part.

Big hugs to your Addie and all of you.

By Law School Wife on 02.26.10 7:16 pm | Permalink

I put my childhood dog to sleep in 2008, and holding her while it happened made it the hardest day of my life to date, so I understand. It hurts. I’m so sorry.

On the bright side, the clear solution here is that little Addie needs a young dog with a long life ahead of it to play with in her big backyard :)

By Heidi on 02.26.10 7:21 pm | Permalink

Oh! Heartbreaking! I’m so sorry!

By Jenny on 02.26.10 7:34 pm | Permalink

Not fun in at all. I am sorry to hear this. Sorry you have to tell your little miss the sad news. At least she knows of heaven…I think dogs are there for sure.

We have a dog and if anything were to happen to him my girls would be devastated to say the least.

By Beth on 02.26.10 8:22 pm | Permalink

Oh, I’m so sorry. Good rest and Godspeed to McKenzie.

We’ve been laying the ground work for the last year with Ben and our older dog. She’s going to be 12 on the 15th of March. She has a fatal condition that should have killed her a year ago, so she is on seriously borrowed time.

Have you told her about the Rainbow Bridge?

By pgoodness on 02.26.10 8:22 pm | Permalink

So sorry you have to tell her. :( My dog had to be put to sleep after 14 really wonderful years, 4 of which included my oldest son. When he gets exhausted, he sobs and is inconsolable because he misses Fooby. It’s heartbreaking, really.

We have a book called Dog Heaven – sad as anything, but at least gives a happy heaven idea.

By Erika on 02.26.10 9:00 pm | Permalink

So sorry you have to tell her. I’m with Addie on the “Heaven must have dogs or it won’t be heaven”. I don’t know what will happen when my childhood dog passes away. Good luck.

By ClassyFabSarah on 02.26.10 9:39 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry.

By Angie on 02.26.10 9:50 pm | Permalink

I still get teary-eyed when we talk about losing Cody (10/11/2008). He was our law school years indulgence. We ate alot of PB&J in order to afford the well-puppy package. When we had to put him down, it was really hard. We waited an entire day to tell our little ones because we just couldn’t put together the words. There never is a right time to introduce death, allowing realty to invade their innocent lives. Hugs to you.

By Lisa on 02.26.10 9:51 pm | Permalink

Oh, I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. Big hugs to all of you. Addie will have those fond memories of her first pet with her always.

By Mel's Box of Chocolates on 02.26.10 10:21 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry! We lost our beloved dog last summer and we still have very sad days where the kiddos talk about how much they miss him. I’m praying for you all! I firmly believe that heaven will be overflowing with our best animal friends.

By Magda on 02.26.10 10:32 pm | Permalink

Oh Casey my heart goes out to you and Addie.We had to put are little Chiquita to sleep this week. It was completely unexpected and shocking. Give Addie a huge hug from me.

By cindy w on 02.26.10 10:51 pm | Permalink

Oh, this kills me. I have a cat who’s almost 14 years old, who my 3 year-old ADORES. Seriously, they nap together. I am dreading the day I have to have the conversation with her that you’re going to have with Addie. Oy. Not looking forward to it at all.

Also: when I was about 14, I got into an argument about the subject of animals in heaven with our Bible class teacher (who was also a Baptist minister). He said that animals have no souls, they can’t be saved, hence they don’t go to heaven. I told him that heaven is supposed to be everything that makes us happy, and if there are no animals there, I don’t want to go. He called my mom later to congratulate her on raising such a strong-minded kid.

By Mary on 02.27.10 12:22 am | Permalink

I’m crying for Addie, for you, for the one who had to make the decision to put McKenzie to sleep. Some people like to say that it’s “just” an animal; I totally don’t buy into that. Pets add such a wonderful loving spot into a family. I can’t imagine a heaven that wouldn’t include them.

By Rachael on 02.27.10 1:28 am | Permalink

I’m sorry. That is so sad. Our son is only almost 4 and not attached to our kitties, but I know when he gets older it will be hard to let them go.

By Tricia on 02.27.10 1:51 am | Permalink

My son is absolutely in love with both our dogs. I’m so sorry you’ve had to give your baby girl a couple rounds of bad news about her furry friends. The death of a beloved pet is a childhood loss that’s so sad, but such a necessary lesson about the beauty of our Creator: He loves us so much He gives us these loyal beings full of unconditional love to teach us about His unconditional love for us. You’re a wonderful mom, and I’ll pray for you and your Addie girl.

By Avitable on 02.27.10 8:22 am | Permalink

Seeing how I’m a 33-year old man who dreads the day that my dog reaches that point, I can only imagine how hard it must be to tell someone like Addie. :(

By Secret Agent Mama on 02.27.10 11:05 am | Permalink

Oh! I thought Delaney was yours. Guess, in the family (sister’s) is yours. Regardless, losing a dog in the family is hard. They become such a part of us. I believe there’s a special place for them in heaven. I truly do.

Sorry about McKenzie. Hope Addie takes it ok.

By Karissa on 02.27.10 2:45 pm | Permalink

Oh my heart breaks for little Addie. My husband’s dog (his parents’ really, but he claimed him) became suddenly sick last week and had to be put to sleep. Getting that phone call broke his big kid heart to pieces, so I can only imagine what Addie feels having lost 3 friends.

By Amy in StL on 02.27.10 6:01 pm | Permalink

Oh no, I lost my little Sheltie boy a couple years ago and they’re very wary of people. But when you’re one of their people, they’re fiercely in love with you. I’m so sorry that you have to tell Addie….it’s so hard for them to have to learn about losing our loved ones when it comes to pets.

By Grandpa Fish and Grandma Flowers on 02.27.10 8:06 pm | Permalink

Hi Addie and Casey,

It’s grandpa and grandma. What a strange day at our home. Everytime I walk around the house I see something that reminds me of Kenzie. The tears just keep coming. Then I read the blog and I am a big fat mess! We have so many great memories and fun times to think about—but right now life is the pits and I need another box of kleenex or your dad’s shirt. We’ll keep in touch. Addie, the flowers are starting to peek their heads out of the dirt! All our love, Fish and Flowers, mostly Flowers right now.

By Lyttlethingsmttr on 02.27.10 8:24 pm | Permalink

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

By Lee Laughlin on 02.27.10 9:23 pm | Permalink

Oh Honey!
I’ve been there, done that all too recently. We had to put Daisy down about 10 days ago. she was an 11.5 y.o. full sized collie. We woke Fish (9) to say goodbye, but opted to let Mim (5) sleep (after MUCH discussion). I’m not sure that given the chance to do it over again, I would do it the same, but then I’m not sure I’d change it either. It is so hard to know what to do. All you can do is hold them and let them feel their sorrow, but as parents, we just want to make it all sunshine and roses for our kids no?
Hugs all around!
FWIW, this is Daisy’s story.
http://livefearlesslee.com/index.php/2010/02/18/daisy-dog/

By punkinmama on 02.27.10 10:19 pm | Permalink

Awww, that totally sucks. (((hugs))) to Addie & to you!

By SarahInMI on 02.27.10 10:36 pm | Permalink

When my plane landed in Chicago after Blissdom, I turned on my phone to a text from my husband that my daughter’s fish had died. I was devastated, but in a way RELIEVED that by the time I drove from Chicago back to MI, he’d have already broken the news to her… and now, her second fish looks like… maybe… it won’t last much longer (it’s nearly 2 yrs old), and I don’t know what to tell her either. I don’t want to be the one to break my daughter’s heart. :(

Big hugs. I’m so sorry.

By Barb @ getupandplay on 02.27.10 11:54 pm | Permalink

Oh, how sad. I’m so sorry!

By Allyson on 02.28.10 12:08 am | Permalink

That totally sucks. We put our dog down a year ago this past Wednesday and it was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. I am so sorry for the loss in your family. Hugs and prayers to you all.

By Elizabeth Kaylene on 02.28.10 10:16 pm | Permalink

*hugs*

I’m so sorry.

I dread the day I lose my kitty, Squirt.

I hope Addie doesn’t take it too hard.

By Susan on 02.28.10 11:15 pm | Permalink

I’m so sorry. Hopefully, we still have a way to go with our sweet dog (who is like my first child), but I know whenever that day comes, I will have an awful time explaining it to her “little sister”, aka my two and a half year old. Awful.

By molly on 03.01.10 12:20 am | Permalink

So sad to lose a sweet dog friend. And so hard for a little one to accept. Thank heavens Addie has a sensitive and caring mom to help her through.

By Sandy on 03.01.10 11:41 am | Permalink

I hope your library has this because this book is wonderful.
Title: The forever dog
Author: Bill Cochran

By samantha jo campen on 03.01.10 3:00 pm | Permalink

Oh man I’m so sorry. Hope she’s doing okay.

By Becky on 03.01.10 5:11 pm | Permalink

aw man i’m late reading this. how did she take it? poor kid. poor all of y’all.

By Katherine on 03.01.10 5:14 pm | Permalink

SO SO SO SAD. My rescue dalmatian is getting older and older. I think she has a few more years left, but only a few. Maybe a couple to be exact. I hate she is starting to show her age. My kids have not been through the death of a dog. I have. And I don’t want them to have to feel that pain. But they will. :( so sorry for your loss… so sorry!

By Nell on 03.01.10 5:21 pm | Permalink

She looks like my little guy. The pain of losing a pet is very real and very big.

Nell

By Leah on 03.01.10 5:27 pm | Permalink

Oh, heartbreaking. Losing pets is always awful, no matter the circumstance.

By sam {temptingmama} on 03.02.10 1:55 pm | Permalink

I’m already an emotional wreck and you just made me cry for my Miss Addie. :(

I’m sorry, friend. XOXOXOXOX

By To Think Is To Create on 03.02.10 2:03 pm | Permalink

Hug, sweet friend.
xoxo

By Amy on 03.03.10 8:25 am | Permalink

Oh my goodness I am so sad for you! I will never forget the day I got home from school and my mother had bad news for me. She was hunched over the kitchen bench and mumbled something. It was quiet for at least a minute then she turned around to face me, tears streaming down her face, and told me with her voice breaking that Polly got run over. Polly was my best friend and I cried my eyes out.. I was 17. It *never* gets easier.

By home and uncool on 03.03.10 11:20 am | Permalink

Sorry for your loss of a great friend. Been through it myself, including having to give the final order and telling the kids. Focus on the joy McKenzie brought all of you in life, not the sadness in death.

Be well, K.

By Kristi on 03.04.10 10:01 am | Permalink

We’ve had our dog about 1 1/2 yrs and I can’t imagine life without her. My girls love her and she loves them. They smoother her with hugs and squeezes daily, and she just loves it. I don’t even know how I’d tell them if something happened to her and we had to put her to sleep.
My in laws dog is old and not doing well at all. I doubt she will be around more than a few months now and I know the girls will just be devastated when she passes. My older girl gets teary eyed when she thinks of visiting her Grandparents and not having Cheyenne there waiting for us.
You’re right. This is one part of parenting that definitely sucks.

By SecretlifeofJane on 03.26.10 11:33 am | Permalink

Best plog post I’ve read today. Beautiful.

By SecretlifeofJane on 03.26.10 11:34 am | Permalink

And I wish I could “edit” or “delete” my previous post… Best Blog post… der!

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