Comments on: when the have/have nots met the woulda/shouldas

By: Meg

Meg — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:05:44 +0000

Yes, I would undo it. I know now that the boy I “dated” was always cheating on me, that he was ashamed of me, and that he lied every time he told me he loved me and didn’t mean it. He preyed on me as someone with little to no self-esteem. He took what little I had and crushed it with his self-centeredness. And now I truly don’t even know if I want to try to love anyone again – if that is the way that people who “love” me treat me….

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:33:14 +0000

My moment was in middle school. I thought I was a part of a group of kids and found out that I wasn’t. No one came up to me and said as much..they just talked about a party that they all went to that I wasn’t invited to..never heard about it until afterwards. Unfortunately, this has colored my friendships since. I can’t help but wonder if they are really my friends, are just putting up with me and when the shoe is going to drop. I don’t spend tons of time talking about it, but that experience had a profound affect on my life.

So, would I change it? That is a good question. If I’m going to totally honest, the answer to that question would be yes.

By: Louise

Louise — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:12:30 +0000

70!

I would, definitely definitely definitely, change a couple of those moments. Not *every* hard thing in my life, because you’re right, I wouldn’t be who I am now if it weren’t for certain events in my life, but you know, some things? Absolutely shouldn’t happen. To a 3 year old or to a 16 year old. Ever. (and what’s going on right now? I would TOTALLY change. But I’ve written a novel here so I won’t go into detail )

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:53:36 +0000

You know hurt and pain are just a part of life’s experiences. I would never go back. You learn, you live and most importantly you MOVE ON. Why waste time on regret? Why? Live for today! Enjoy the moments that make up the here and now and look at what each thing is teaching us.

By: Jill

Jill — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 12:31:02 +0000

I suffered from severe anxiety for a few years and at the time I swore I’d have rather had cancer or some other sort of disease for which I could be treated or had some physical reason to go along with it. Crazy, I know.

But having gotten through it with LOTS of therapy, I’m grateful *now* to have learned so much about myself during the process. So no. I wouldn’t undo it, but I might undo some ofthe choices I made to get me there.

By: lceel

lceel — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:17:28 +0000

I haven’t read through the comments that have come before me – there are way too many. So I’m sure this has probably been said by many, already – for there are many of us who share this boat with you.

I look back at the heartbreak of a divorce and all that that entails. That lost love and destroyed marriage help to make me what and who am. I would not be what and who I am had I not experienced that loss. I would not have what I have now, had I not lost what I had before.

I LOVE who I am now. I LOVE what I have now.

Given the choice – I’ll take what I’ve got.

By: Rick Bucich

Rick Bucich — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:00:17 +0000

I would like to add that I have one friend (who doesn’t read this blog) that became overly scarred. It has impeded her ability to trust and enter into healthy relationships and as such I fear she will remain single indefinitely. She hasn’t lacked quality suitors either, but tends to over-emphasize any apparent flaws leading to destructive behavior.

By: Stefanie

Stefanie — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:26:40 +0000

Thanks Casey for an excellent question and eloquent post. I wrote my response here, mostly because your other readers would hate me for taking up so much space.

http://ragstoritz.blogspot.com/2009/08/in-your-heart.html

By: Holly

Holly — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:20:52 +0000

I was married before I met my husband and that marriage scarred me. But it also taught me what I will and won’t put up with and what I won’t settle for. As much as that experience sucked, it made me stronger and gave me the tools to choose the right guy the second time around. Here’s to a happy and fulfilling marriage – seven years and counting.

By: Corinna Lyons-Revello

Corinna Lyons-Revello — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:41:44 +0000

Hell no. Not in a million years. The answer is in your question; it defined who I am today.