Comments on: watching pain.

By: moosh in indy. » picking up.

moosh in indy. » picking up. — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:41:34 +0000

[...] Tiny gramma is exactly what I needed to help get me out of my funk. [...]

By: Kimmie

Kimmie — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:57:24 +0000

Love you, love Hedder. Not a day goes by that I don't think of that lovely couple and the beautiful baby girl. I agree with Heather, I think putting ourselves in that situation makes us better friends, and better supporters. HUGS to you...and to her. LOVE you so much! Kimmies last blog post..Why Blogging is the Bomb

By: Della

Della — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:32:42 +0000

Thanks for posting this. I've been struggling with a similar sense, except that in my case, I haven't even met Heather in person. I never got to hug Maddie. Reading this makes me feel like maybe I can have permission to mourn and grieve, not just the utter wrongness of Maddie being gone and my life continuing on, but also that a person who doesn't even realize how much I care about them is hurting. It hurts me to think of Heather (and Mike) hurting this way, and if I sound like a stalker to express such profound concern for someone I "have no right" to love this much, well, the universe can go suck it. Dellas last blog post..Not ME! Monday, June 1 Edition

By: Sunshine

Sunshine — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:11:21 +0000

Your love for the Spohr’s is evident. No one could accuse you of being selfish or trying to make it ‘all about you.’ You are a good friend.

By: Ohh Betsy

Ohh Betsy — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:24:13 +0000

I don't think it's selfish to feel what you feel over the loss of Maddie. It's a tribute to Maddie and shows how much you care for the entire family. Ohh Betsys last blog post..Bag it (or, the first giveaway ever on this little blog)

By: Kasey

Kasey — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:17:10 +0000

and yes, I said LOVE a bunch of times and was all crying and typing and lamenting ... which made me spell things wrong and go on and on and on ... which i'm doing now again ... Kaseys last blog post..nowhere on earth I’d rather be

By: Kasey

Kasey — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:10:15 +0000

Miss Casey…great post. You know my thoughts. We talked about it.

It’s so hard being the friend watching all this unfold for the very reasons you stated.

It hurts to bad.

It’s also hard to share these raw emotions with family and other friends who think we’re nuts for being so devastated. But we’re not nuts. We’re MOMS. We are wired in a very special way.

When I talked to you about this the other day, I tried to explain it and then more or less threw my hands up and said “I probably make no sense.” But you knew exactly what I meant. We both felt the same way. It’s hard to be the grieving friend on the sidelines. It’s hard to try to understand what your friend is going through, because to do that, you have to creep toward that dark place. And nobody wants to do that. But we do it anyway … every time we read the blog entries. We do it when we see Maddie’s adorable face. We do it every time we think of a laugh shared with a friend, a moment spent together, a photo … We keep coming back to read about it, talk about, cry about it.

I can relate to you because of my dear friend’s exact situation of losing a daughter (also named Maddie). I know that dark place. I’ve cried the crocodile tears. I’ve been to therapy for it … to try to make it all better. Yes, that’s right. I ended up in therapy because of my friend’s loss. That’s how much I know how you hurt.

But … I love that you wrote this post. I love that all the other moms and friends are posting to say you are not alone. I love that you love Heather and Mike and Maddie so much. I love that you are such an amazing friend to so many people. I love that I know you will eventually feel less pain but way more love for Miss Maddie. I love that you have such a loving heart.

YOU, dare I say it, are loved for being such a giving, loving soul. It’s what makes you who you are. It’s what makes all your friends so thankful to have you around.

It’s that loving heart and soul that makes it SO DAMN HARD right now … but also what will help you mend and find more love and joy than you ever knew possible just because you were lucky enough to know Maddie and her mommy and daddy … and to call them friends.

Hugs to you and all the aching friends out there …

Kaseys last blog post..nowhere on earth I’d rather be

By: Elizabeth Kaylene

Elizabeth Kaylene — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:21:37 +0000

I don't even know what to say, because there is nothing that can be said. When you lose a child, even when you're not that child's parent, it still rips a hole through your heart, your world. I'm sorry for your loss, for Heather's loss, for everyone who knew Maddie. Those big, beautiful eyes of hers will forever haunt me. Elizabeth Kaylenes last blog post..Just do it, like Nike

By: samantha jo campen

samantha jo campen — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 03:17:36 +0000

I bawled and bawled and bawled for weeks. I don't know any of you. Every post Heather writes makes me cry. I cry looking at my 15 month old son when I think of Maddie. I. Can't. Even. Imagine that kind of grief. Not for a second. Maddie passed away on my birthday. I think of her all the time, multiple times a day, and she will never ever be forgotten. samantha jo campens last blog post..60 Day Shred BlogHer Challenge

By: Meg

Meg — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:44:57 +0000

You're a good, and true, friend. You are hurting too, even though it's not your child that was lost. And Heather obviously knows that. Megs last blog post..Playing tourist