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maybe I fell down the stairs, AGAIN.
April 29, 2009

Guess what I did.

OH NOES!

A) I lost to a cat in heat who confused my legs with a potential mate.

B) I lost to a brand new razor.

C) I lost to a jelly jar that smashed to smithereens on my freshly washed floor.

D) I lost to a weed whacker.

E) SWINE FLU! (So it’s cool I make a swine flu joke right? I never can tell with pandemics.)

F) Blood spatter from a very serious bloody nose of a very bloody child.

G) I fell down the stairs. (AGAIN.)

Things have been a little dull and dare I say depressing around moosh in indy in the month of April so what better way to spice things up than with a very mysterious, possibly macabre photo of my most loathed body part? Hang around long enough and my blog is likely to give you whiplash no personal injury lawyer will be able to prosecute.

I dare say I’m thisclose to a bulleted list of “happenings in mooshville.”

LIKE THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND IS DONE WITH LAW SCHOOL IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.

And before all you naysayers get all “OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BAR?” up in my face, shut up and let me be happy for like 27 minutes before bar prep starts.

Then there’s that little kid that runs around here announcing what I may or may not smell like. Or what the world may or may not smell like, I swear that kids sense of smell didn’t kick in until 5 months ago. Nothing like getting a morning hug and having the love of your life announce “MOM, YOU SMELL LIKE BUTT” or “WHOA MAMA WITH THE DRAGON BREATH!” or tell you that her butt is more awesome than yours because it doesn’t bleed AND IT’S NOT HAIRY.

moosh's magic pony

Which reminds me, has anyone seen my pride?

I had a wonderful birthday, thanks to everyone who gave me permission to make May my month since April is on my smells like butt poop list. So May it is. I’m even considering doing NaBlaPoMo for May.

And maybe my very first post will be to answer just what on earth happended south of the chubby kneequator.

Related posts:

  1. Casey vs. The Stairs
  2. *ahem* it’s my birthday.
  3. Why we don’t fall down stairs. In photos.
  4. Customer assistance in sporting goods to the stairs, please?

Comments off.

By Jen on 04.29.09 9:56 pm | Permalink

dude…that is all…just dude…

I love your kid (ok that is all)

Jens last blog post..Randome Tuesday Thoughts

By Amber on 04.29.09 9:56 pm | Permalink

I’m really hoping it’s a broken jelly jar, that seems to be the least painful or chaotic. =)

Happy belated birthday!

Ambers last blog post..Family Visit and 4 month checkup

By pgoodness on 04.29.09 9:58 pm | Permalink

Seriously?? You’re going to leave us hanging like that? Because if you did fall down the stairs, I need to know what they are made of – barbed wire??? :)

By perksofbeingme on 04.29.09 9:58 pm | Permalink

Wow. This is what happens when I go a few days without talking to you. You get so crazed that you can’t walk down stairs or use a new razor. Oh how I purple puffy heart you.

perksofbeingmes last blog post..March for Maddie

By Della on 04.29.09 9:59 pm | Permalink

But….. but wait…. BUT WAIT!

That is JUST plain CRUEL.
It’s two whole days until May!!

Dellas last blog post..I think I figured out my problem

By Meg on 04.29.09 10:00 pm | Permalink

I’m excited to hear all the goodness in mooshville that will be May!

Megs last blog post..Fractured

By jenn on 04.29.09 10:00 pm | Permalink

hmm im going to say jelly jar, only because of the “splatter” marks on the legs..otherwise id say razor ..eitehr way, you sure got our attention LOL..and btw, May, it WILL be better :)

By Maggie on 04.29.09 10:03 pm | Permalink

Going to guess the cat…the jelly jar is my second guess :)

By Marin on 04.29.09 10:03 pm | Permalink

We are the same person. Last night I re-cut the area that I had sliced last week while shaving my legs.

By Jill on 04.29.09 10:04 pm | Permalink

What in the hay-ell did you do to your legs, girl?!

And my kid is all about smells lately too. except I think he makes things up. Because he claims he can smell dead geese bones and how would even know they smell like (plus, i can never smell anything when he’s going on about dead geese bones… so maybe it’s me because it has been a few days since I showered). Damn!

Jills last blog post..WTF? Wednesday – Back with a vengeance

By Danielle ExtraordinaryMommy on 04.29.09 10:05 pm | Permalink

Even wading through your ‘it smells like butt poop’ month, you are witty. You make me LAUGH EVERY TIME.

I hope May smells nothing like butt poop.

By Kelley on 04.29.09 10:05 pm | Permalink

Happy belated birthday!

And the bar? Copious amount of studying, but as long as he treats it like a job (8 hour study days for a few weeks), I’m sure he’ll be fine. Congrats on being done with law school!

Kelleys last blog post..On Compliments

By rachel-asouthernfairytale on 04.29.09 10:06 pm | Permalink

I swear that I’m not giggling.

Nope. not a bit.
At least you weren’t crowned “stinky swamp juice breath”

rachel-asouthernfairytales last blog post..Comment on Definitely Not The Standard by Shannanb aka Mommy Bits

By sarah on 04.29.09 10:10 pm | Permalink

Rachel made me look, but now… I’m scared. If that was a razor, will you tell us what kind so we don’t use that brand?

sarahs last blog post..Where A Piece Of Paper Goes on Vacation And We Don’t

By cc on 04.29.09 10:12 pm | Permalink

I’m hoping it’s C. Because the others would suck.

By Avitable on 04.29.09 10:12 pm | Permalink

You totally stole my secret guest post quote!

Avitables last blog post..Ode to my grandfather

By Midwest Mommy on 04.29.09 10:15 pm | Permalink

My butt doesn’t bleed or isn’t hairy! I love the humor that is the Moosh!

By ashley on 04.29.09 10:26 pm | Permalink

I’m guessing jelly jar. Just cause I’ve had nearly the exact same thing happen. Except it was a beer bottle, not a jelly jar. And it was in a bar, not in your kitchen.

I think I’ll just shut up now.

ashleys last blog post..Down With the Frog

By Erika on 04.29.09 10:29 pm | Permalink

Ahh! That really looks like it hurt. I’m so sorry!
Just to help you feel better I’ll share what happened when I fell down the stairs in December… beware… the pictures aren’t pretty! http://reyeshouse.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-broke-my-face.html
I hope that you’re alright.

I hope you’re able to bask in the 27 minutes of glory that your husband being done with law school affords you!

Be careful… Stay away from those killer razors ;)

Erikas last blog post..Relay for Life

By Malia on 04.29.09 10:31 pm | Permalink

My legs often look like that after “breaking in” a new razor, so I’m answering, “B”

Malias last blog post..Yanni Voices

By Jen L. on 04.29.09 10:42 pm | Permalink

I vote jelly jar or bloody moosh nose. Yikes to either.
Here’s to May!!!

Jen L.s last blog post..Marjen (our official celebrity name, as used by the paparazzi)

By Angie on 04.29.09 10:44 pm | Permalink

Um, speaking as a former IU law school widow, tomorrrow is. a. very. big. deal. I remember being able to cut the tension in Chateau L-S with a very, very dull butter knife during finals time.

And sending you a little internet TLC for your poor wittle wegs. Whatever the cause, it must’ve hurt like the dickens. (End of crazy auntie voice)

By Keri on 04.29.09 10:57 pm | Permalink

Hi!
I’ve been following for awhile. But your right, April for you has sucked. I’m sorry. :(
Anyway, I got your blog address from your dad (who works with my hubby.)
My girls hate the “bleeding from your butt” too! :)

By Amy on 04.29.09 11:01 pm | Permalink

Jelly jar! I read the tweet about your cool new mop!

Amys last blog post..My Boys

By sam {temptingmama} on 04.29.09 11:05 pm | Permalink

Totally jelly jar. And! I bet you did it on purpose so that you could use the steamer again. LOL

Ya, Moosh and her sense of smell? FUNNY!

Like on the weekend when she came into her bedroom asking “What’s that smell?” and plugged her nose. She *might* have just walked through a plume of toot. Just sayin’.

Iz heart her. TONS!

By OHmommy on 04.29.09 11:40 pm | Permalink

I’m hoping it was the nose bled. Am I right? Cheers to a wonderful May and many congrats on you surviving the husband finishing law school. Congrats to him too!

OHmommys last blog post..Another business forced to close…

By Melissa on 04.29.09 11:40 pm | Permalink

Don’t think about bar prep. Just don’t. It’s horrible. Think about graduation and the hooding ceremony instead! Because C getting HOODED (hee) is way more fun than C doing more studying (boo). Best of luck to him though. I’m sure he’ll pass the bar on the first try.

Here’s to a fabulous May! You deserve it!

Melissas last blog post..pre-trip guilt trip

By Evonne on 04.30.09 12:04 am | Permalink

I am guessing cat!? Am I right, or did you fall down those darn stairs again?

Evonnes last blog post..FREE!

By Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy on 04.30.09 12:16 am | Permalink

I’m going with H) Shark Attack.

By Lindy on 04.30.09 3:05 am | Permalink

ooops! I did sorta mention the BE on FB.

By SciFi Dad on 04.30.09 6:25 am | Permalink

bloody legs…
dragon breath…
hairy butt…

you just want the internet to think you’re hawt.

By Karen Sugarpants on 04.30.09 7:52 am | Permalink

i don’t think you were ready for that jelly.

By all things BD on 04.30.09 8:00 am | Permalink

Gotta go for the broken jelly jar, for your sake and for the sake of my eyes.

all things BDs last blog post..You’re Gonna Love My Nuts

By The Mom Experience on 04.30.09 8:45 am | Permalink

Oh I hope it was C. Because the others are all too painful to think about. Hope May is kinder to you than April was!

By Angelique on 04.30.09 8:48 am | Permalink

“Which reminds me, has anyone seen my pride?”

Hahaha, loved it.

It’s how I feel almost every day.

This morning I got the, “Hey Mom, what’s this?” question from my five-year-old in regard to his testacles. Where the hell are the husbands when you need them?

Hope that gave you a little chuckle and that May is a much better month for you!

By Jamie on 04.30.09 10:23 am | Permalink

I’m going with jelly jar followed by new lady shaver. I’ve been hacked up by a cat and the blood patterns don’t match.

May is my “smells like butt poop” month, but I hope it rocks for you.

Jamies last blog post..Tied up…

By Angie B. on 04.30.09 11:29 am | Permalink

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. You make me smile.

By ali on 04.30.09 11:33 am | Permalink

there’s nothing in the world like a dose of 4-year-old honesty, eh?

(could be from a nose bleed. emily is queen of the nosebleeds and some of them have been, um, messy)

alis last blog post..the guitar-toting, toothless nun.

By kat on 04.30.09 12:13 pm | Permalink

My vote is the new razor AND that pic of the Moosh is so cute. She looks like you in that one.

Oh! and 1 more thing!
WAHOO!!!! on the school thing!!!

kats last blog post..Busy Busy Busy

By Reese on 04.30.09 12:21 pm | Permalink

I think maybe I mentioned during your last stair-battle that I’m convinced I’m going to die from falling down a flight of stairs.

I’ve done myself so much damage when it comes to stairs… twice fallen down them with a laundry basket – one time gouging the edge of the basket into my solar plexus (*OUCH*) and the other time scraping the front of both shins/ankles/feet on the last three stairs the DAY before a 5-day trip to Disneyland.

And that’s only the beginning.

Reeses last blog post..Dealz

By Amy in StL on 04.30.09 2:44 pm | Permalink

I’m guessing a new razor. I can’t seem to shave with a new razor without cutting myself either. Can’t they sell partially broken in ones or something?

By Miss Grace on 04.30.09 2:57 pm | Permalink

I’m guessing a nosebleed. Because it looks so splattery.

Miss Graces last blog post..Girl Talk Thursday – Guilt Free $50

By Nicole on 04.30.09 3:30 pm | Permalink

I’m guessing jelly jar! I’m having a droppy day too, I dropped 3 pounds of brown sugar all over the kitchen floor today!

Nicoles last blog post..Bake and Bake and Bake and Bake

By magpie on 04.30.09 4:13 pm | Permalink

H) You killed 47 mosquitos?

By Holly on 04.30.09 4:54 pm | Permalink

Or none of the above…you’ve gotten into Chinese torture methods and are paper cutting yourself to death.

My birthday sucked this month too. Not as bad as yours, but still. Is something wrong with April this year?

Hollys last blog post..The Birthday Saga

By Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) on 04.30.09 5:18 pm | Permalink

That is CRAZY!!!!

It looks soooo painful. I’m going to guess the jelly jar… but seriously girl… what DID you do???

By SPOILED MOMMY on 04.30.09 6:26 pm | Permalink

Oh goodness girlie!
I hope it was just a crazy jelly jar.

By Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) on 04.30.09 7:22 pm | Permalink

Ahhh… kids. Moosh is TOO CUTE. But you know that. :)

By Anna at Hank and Willie on 04.30.09 9:10 pm | Permalink

JELLY. I HOPE

By threeundertwo on 04.30.09 11:50 pm | Permalink

I vote poor little Moosh nose. We got a lot of that at our house when the kids were little. The bathroom looked like a murder scene.

Tear off that calendar page for April and move on now. Mother’s day is coming.

By Kimmie on 05.01.09 2:38 am | Permalink

They look EXACTLY like mine do after I shave…I am intrigued.

I miss you, I wish you were here tonight when we went and blogged it up with Jyl at the jewelry store. Oh how I am longingly missing you tonight. I love you. Kiss kiss, so happy things are looking up and that school is DONE!

Kimmies last blog post..School Daze–TI-89

By Kimmie on 05.01.09 2:38 am | Permalink

BTW…have you noticed the older the moosh gets, the more and more she looks like you. Really.

Kimmies last blog post..School Daze–TI-89

By Rabbi's Wife on 05.01.09 7:59 am | Permalink

I’m sorry you fell down. I’m like, the least coordinated person ever, so I’ve always got several bruises in different stages of healing. Yay for modest clothes to cover them up, though, right?

Rabbi’s Wifes last blog post..kitchen adventures

By Melissa on 05.01.09 11:05 am | Permalink

Maybe someday after your hubby passes the bar and becomes a rich lawyer, he can buy you an elevator. Then maybe you won’t fall down the stairs.

Happy Belated Birthday! I hope next year is a better year for you.

Melissas last blog post..You Capture Challenge – Letters

By Emily R on 05.01.09 3:09 pm | Permalink

b.

By Rhea on 05.01.09 8:29 pm | Permalink

I’m thinking bloody nosed kid. But, it sounds more exciting to say you fought with aliens who were trying to steal the President’s dog…and he was so thankful that he named his dog after you…or something like that.

Rheas last blog post..Breathe, just breathe.

By moosh in indy. » pancaking my battles. on 05.05.09 10:59 pm | Permalink

[...] BLOODY LEG PHOTO ANSWERS COMING TOMORROW! PROMISE! [...]

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