Loves ya, Casey.

Butrfly Gardens last blog post..Mr. T

I have a brand new crib and everything tucked in a closet. I thought it was just going to be put on hold while their mother got her $%^& together, I figured we’d be able to save up for the fertility treatments (hubs is a quad so we’d need sperm retrieval)in the mean time but two and a half years later we’ve adopted all 5 of them.

I’ve had the tests done, I can have children, they tell me I’m young (32). But the kids have multiple disorders and Hubs…well there’s his lifespan to consider and the cost! The cost of 5 kids and a house we’ve outgrown overnight.

It sucks knowing that I can physically have children but probably never will because of life’s circumstances.

Sometime’s I think it would be better if I couldn’t physically have children. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

I know people will say I already have 5 and I should be happy, but it’s really not the same.

Sashas last blog post..Why I should have just stayed in bed…

I never had problems concieving and have the large family (five) I was hoping for, but now I feel I can never complain when I’m going crazy.

After all – I chose this.

mamacrows last blog post..Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim cheroo…

And doesn’t it make that fat kid even fatter when other people, maybe a MIL, keeps prying on when you’re going to have another child because she always thought that the age difference between her brother and herself was too far apart. And you want your daughter to be close and have a friendship with her sibling, right?

Or is that just me?

Oh, and you’re not crazy for thinking that a miscarriage would be better. When I had my ‘chemical pregnancy’ March 07 I rejoiced because Honey and I actually managed to conceive again. I cried like crazy when the bleeding started but a small part of my is still cheering that we actually had a positive pregnancy test.

T with Honeys last blog post..Which Princess are you?

Hang in there!

Kristabellas last blog post..I’m Ready To Go Home Now

I just wish it could be simple, and those women who long to be mothers and wives could just (snap!) be mothers and wives. I have people telling me “it’s not my time” to get married, and I guess I’m finally starting to believe them. I know God knows what He’s doing a heckuvalot more than me. But it certainly is frustrating…

The lady at your church is right, though. You might not post here as much with another little one, and we would miss you terribly! (Just kidding…I’m not QUITE that selfish).

Hollys last blog post..Yabba Dabba Don’t?

maggie, dammits last blog post..Fear and self-loathing in the Midwest

That being said, during yoga tonight you (specifically this post) popped into my head. (I’m going to go ahead and skim over the mild creepiness (for you) of that…) More specifically the phrase about HG and not having another 60lbs to lose. Now, you may have already thought of this or someone may have mentioned it in the comments above, but it occured to me during down dog that the last time you were pregnant you had gained an significant amount of weight. I don’t remember if there was a direct cause for this weight gain, but it would seem that someone/something, or Someone/Something had prepared your body for your pregnancy with the moosh. Knowing that in a year or so you would NEED that weight to help you and the moosh.

All this not say that it was an easy pregnancy or pass off a platitude of “it will happen when it will happen” but rather for me, not sure what I believe in to begin with, noticing this made me think that someone (God, Buddah, Karma, etc) has you in mind and that when/if you get pregnant again that someone will most definitely have you in mind again.

For now, at least, you know that you have everyone who commented here (and more who didn’t) has you in mind. And that’s a lot of Casey/the moosh love.

Mine are 4 1/2 years apart. Don’t give up hope…you never know what God has in store for you.