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Crazy Sober Mormons.
June 29, 2008

I don’t drink. Used to. Don’t anymore. In my choice of religion we are commanded to follow the Word of Wisdom. The word of wisdom basically breaks down to “eat stuff that’s good for you, avoid the stuff that’s bad for you.” Included in the list of things which are good for you are fruits, vegetables, whole grains and meat (in moderation). Duh. The things that fall under the “bad” category are alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea.

(By the way, to any new readers, HI! I’m a Mormon. If you hate Mormons, kindly keep your mean emails and comments to yourself and just click away, hit unsubscribe and forget that 12,000,000 of us share the same planet as you. kthxbai)

So there you go. I don’t drink. That isn’t to say that I never drank, because WHOO did I drink. And you know what? It really isn’t for me. With my depression and inability to control myself as a hot drunken mess it’s really just better that I don’t. So even if it weren’t for the religious direction not to drink, I still wouldn’t drink. Same with cigarettes, tried one once, gagged and vomited in my mouth a little. Plus I spend a lot of money to smell good, why waste all that effort? As for the coffee and tea? I’ve had one sip of coffee in my entire life. Totally not for me. Icky. Tea? I broke down and tried some “magical” ginger tea whilst I was pregnat. Let’s just say that vomiting up ginger tea solidified my passionate hatred for all things ginger.

So that brings us to BlogHer, where the liquor and coffee flow pretty freely. I won’t be drinking any of it. However, I’ll probably be keeping a Shirley Temple and hot chocolate count somewhere in my sidebar. I personally am a lot more fun sober. Although when you see me dance, you may wonder if I didn’t take a little nip when no one was looking.

Are you worried I’ll be talking to you all the while silently judging you and condemning you to hell for that gin and tonic in your hands?

Depends. Are you going to be accosting me insisting that I shove liquor down my throat, calling me a big holier than thou sissypants sissy for not drinking?

No? Didn’t think so. Just as I know you will respect my reasons for not drinking, I wholly respect your decision to drink. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself. So assuming Shirley Temples are free, I’ll have a few drink tickets up for grabs.

See you in 19 days ladies.

Related posts:

  1. Doing my part to make Mormons a little less crazy misunderstood.
  2. Shack de la Bossy Moosh.
  3. Ten Mormons in a Wine Cellar.
  4. If you have to go crazy, make sure you’re insured.

Comments off.

By Rhea on 06.29.08 5:21 pm | Permalink

I don’t get the no coffee and tea thing. Alcohol and tabacco I understand.

BTW, I don’t drink coffee either. Can’t stand it, but I do like tea, hot or cold, different types.

I rarely drink alcohol but really don’t like being out of control and making a goof of myself. I was always the designated drivers among my friends. :o )

Oh, and I’ve never smoked a day in my life but hubby does, and god I wish he would stop. I hate smoking.

Rheas last blog post..This Critter Crashed a Bachelorette Party – Camera Critters

By Kim on 06.29.08 5:21 pm | Permalink

You go, Girl! I love that you are just puttin’ it out there! Have an extra Shirley Temple for me!

By Suebob on 06.29.08 5:27 pm | Permalink

I’m thinking it will be a good thing if SOMEONE at BlogHer is sober!

(I play it up like I’m a huge drunk – and I do like to drink – but I am such a lightweight that anything beyond two drinks has my all head-spinny and regretting being alive. Yeah, I am so much fun at a party).

By Candace on 06.29.08 5:40 pm | Permalink

Hey! I met you at church today. You told me about the “Savvy Source” blog you write for and I looked it up but the site wouldn’t show up. This is the only thing that came up. So here I am. Cute blog! You are a clever, witty writer. No wonder you were hired to write. I will invite you to mine on Blogger (it’s private). See ya around!

By Janssen on 06.29.08 5:53 pm | Permalink

You make me think that if I ever got up the nerve to go to Blogher, I wouldn’t be the only one not drinking. Good for you.

Janssens last blog post..It’s a Saturday Night

By Darla on 06.29.08 6:09 pm | Permalink

Good for you! Personally, I JUST started liking coffee two months ago, how weird is that? 39 years and nothing, now LOVE? ~shakes head~

Tea I hate in any shape or form. Who knows tho, tomorrow I may love it.

Oh and I learned that it’s not the liquor in the Mike’s Hard Lemonade it’s the lemon flavor I love, who knew! Now I drink sugar free lemonade all day and never crave a Mike’s. Odd?!

Now the merlot…that’s for the buzz, cuz 1/2 cup and I’m under the table.

Chocolate is not a sinful food? Well HALLELUJIAH!!! Please tell God to remove all that UNSINFULNESS from my thighs, will ya…mmmkay? thx

By ali on 06.29.08 6:26 pm | Permalink

coffee too? really? i’m sure i could give up alcohol..but coffee? there’s just no way.

so, obviously, no judging from me…only envy. hahah!

can’t wait to meet you, lady!

alis last blog post..swiper no swiping, ali is naked, and the mouths of babes

By Kris on 06.29.08 6:29 pm | Permalink

Nothing like laying it all out on the line… good on ya, girl!

Kriss last blog post..Humor me…

By Carly on 06.29.08 6:47 pm | Permalink

So I guess this means you won’t be needing one of my buttons then? Ok.

See you there!!!!

By feener on 06.29.08 6:49 pm | Permalink

you have a very interesting life

feeners last blog post..swim camp

By karla | looking towards heaven on 06.29.08 8:01 pm | Permalink

have a hot chocolate for me. I’d love to enjoy a cup with you if I were attending.

xo ~K

karla | looking towards heavens last blog post..Her daughter Doesn’tSpeak

By Christina on 06.29.08 8:51 pm | Permalink

I would never make someone feel bad about not drinking. That’s totally your choice, and good for you for sticking to your beliefs.

As for me? I don’t drink very often, but enjoy those few chances I get. And I apparently have the liver of an 80-year old Irishman, so I’m anything but a lightweight.

(PS – I had to pay drink tickets for non-alcoholic drinks last year. Grrr…)

Christinas last blog post..Haiku Friday: Potty Talk

By mich on 06.29.08 10:24 pm | Permalink

I understand how you feel. I can’t tell you how many times my driking frineds try to tell me why I’m wrong. I guess they’re not really friends after all….

I don’t care if you drink, just take my “No thanks” and move on….

Good luck at blogher. I hope we will still hear from you when you’re on your trip.

By Kim on 06.29.08 10:44 pm | Permalink

I think it’s awesome that you are putting it all out there and “standing up for yourself,” so to speak. Not that you have to, I would hope, in a room full of supportive, loving women, but I know that the no drinking guideline can be misunderstood.

(I do love sweet tea though. I think it’s a good thing I am Baptist. We invented sweet tea.)

Kims last blog post..Dear the moosh, please Whoorl my hair. Please?

By Sheyenne on 06.29.08 11:49 pm | Permalink

Way to put it out there right up front. Then people know where you stand and they don’t have to give you a hard time.

Sheyennes last blog post..A garbage pile of my very own

By Meg on 06.30.08 12:30 am | Permalink

Just out of curiosity, were you raised Mormon at all? Or did you convert for Mr Cody?

Megs last blog post..The Drive Home Part Le Deux (That’s French for Two!)

By Jia on 06.30.08 3:13 am | Permalink

Rock on sistah-friend! I too converted for my man, although I was only fifteen at the time LOL!

Good for you for sticking by your morals. By the way, the whole 12mil comment made my husband and I laugh so hard!!!

Jias last blog post..My Hair Used to Rock My World

By natalie on 06.30.08 8:49 am | Permalink

i don’t drink either…not really religious reasons though. we work for a conservative company, and they ask us not to. so we don’t. there are times though…times when i think a margarita might solve all the world’s problems. thankfully they are few and far between! have fun at blogher!

natalies last blog post..Monday morning ramblings

By threeundertwo on 06.30.08 10:06 am | Permalink

I’m Greek Orthodox, and we have fasting periods where we don’t eat meat or dairy or drink alcohol. This includes every Wednesday and Friday and the 40 days before Easter. It’s not easy being different from the crowd. I’ve had to decline salads because they had cheese on them (who puts cheese on salads anyway?) so I know exactly what you’re talking about. I certainly don’t judge others for drinking, but it’s hard to understand why they feel the need to put such pressure on me.

Nice to meet you. I surfed over from fussy’s blog.

threeundertwos last blog post..About Dinner

By Ashley on 06.30.08 10:30 am | Permalink

The older I get (25 damn I’m old) the more respect I have for people who don’t imbibe. I drink so much less after having children and I now see how crazy pyscho I acted when drunk. But my hubby can handle it fine so to each their own. Good for you Casey. I also have a cousin in-law who is a Mormon from Salt Lake and has moved down here to Arkansas with all us Baptists. Poor guy.

Ashleys last blog post..Communication Breakdown

By Adrienne on 06.30.08 12:27 pm | Permalink

I am still not 100% positive I can go, but if I do, I’ll sit with you cuz, I don’t drink either. No religion, no depression (well, not officially), just choice.

DO they have dessert tickets? I’ll gladly trade my drink ticket for a dessert ticket. LOL

Adriennes last blog post..Loading Zone Only

By mrs. mustard on 06.30.08 12:34 pm | Permalink

I have a question for ya, if you feel like answering. What is it about tea and coffee that are bad? The caffeine? Can you drink herbal teas? Or decaf?
And if it is the caffeine, does that mean chocolate is out? Someone once told me that Mormons don’t do chocolate, which I find hard to believe from your pictures of yummy baking.

mrs. mustards last blog post..I’ll take R 4 Q Q Q and the batman symbol

By Amy In Ohio on 06.30.08 12:40 pm | Permalink

Stumbled back this way thanks to BlogNosh – a friend at WorkingMomsAgainstGuilt (Tela) sung your praises and then I lost you.

Now I’ve found you again and can’t stop laughing.

Can’t wait to meet you at BlogHer!

Amy In Ohios last blog post..I Heart Kate

By Adventures In Babywearing on 06.30.08 2:02 pm | Permalink

Hey- I’m right there with you. Well, not Mormon, but I’m pregnant so it’s kinda like the same restrictions, no? So at least now I know one other person who will not be drinking at BlogHer and maybe we can just roll our eyes at the drunkies together? : )

Steph

Adventures In Babywearings last blog post..Either You’re In Or You’re Out

By Shauna on 06.30.08 3:39 pm | Permalink

Throw back a shirley temple for me, okay?

Shaunas last blog post..The Sexual Harassment Lawsuit

By Casey on 06.30.08 3:45 pm | Permalink

mrs. mustard-
It’s the tannic acid in tea and coffee that’s advised against not the caffeine, so chocolate and herbal tea are game on.

By Butrfly Garden on 06.30.08 3:56 pm | Permalink

Casey, that’s crazy about the coffee/tea thing. I actually read ALL the comments trying to get an answer. And I just so happened to learn about tannic acid on my vacation a few weeks ago! (That’s why the WI River is so dark. :) )

Does that mean you can’t drink colas, too?

Sorry if I seem nosy, I’d never realized that they were taboo before.

Butrfly Gardens last blog post..Answer You Anything! Part Two.

By pamela on 06.30.08 6:08 pm | Permalink

Good for you..I do not know why people have to drink to have fun. Though I am a coffee addict. I found your blog through Blog Nosh. Loved the piece that they featured. I will be back for the Sunday of Blogher. On a family vacation so I miss the conference every year.

By Worker Mommy on 06.30.08 6:08 pm | Permalink

So yeah, I really shouldn’t drink because um sometimes its just not pretty. But that still hasn’t stopped me *sigh* ;)

Worker Mommys last blog post..Presenting the Mother of all Online Showers:Hosted by the two WMs

By Shamelessly Sassy on 06.30.08 6:11 pm | Permalink

I’m so sad I’m not attending Blogher. :(

By heather on 06.30.08 6:30 pm | Permalink

I love Shirley Temples. When I was a bartender I would drink a gallon of Shirley Temples a night. Now my teeth are red.

18 days.

heathers last blog post..Flying High

By Rhea on 06.30.08 7:43 pm | Permalink

I have a whole new look on my site and a new address, so come check me out when you have a chance!! :o )

Rheas last blog post..Attention!! Important announcement

By Loralee on 06.30.08 8:24 pm | Permalink

I long ago promised my drink tickets to Heather B. ;) I may not be attending church, but drinking and I do NOT get along. So I will join you on the sober couch.

Loralees last blog post..INIGO: Fezzik! Fezzik! Listen! Do you hear? That is the sound of Ultimate Suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my father. The man in black makes it now. FEZZIK: The man in black? INIGO: His true love is marrying another tonight. So who else has the cause for Ultimate Suffering?

By VDog on 06.30.08 10:34 pm | Permalink

Will you lead me to the bathroom if I have one too many? ;)

VDogs last blog post..Weekly Winners, Last Week of June

By Half-Past Kissin' Time on 07.01.08 1:47 am | Permalink

Oh, you’re so lucky! Wish I was going
:( I don’t drink, either (I think I’m allergic.) AT 45, I don’t get a lot of harassment about it anymore. Have a great time!!

Half-Past Kissin’ Times last blog post..Summer’s Harvest Breakfast

By EmilyPie on 07.01.08 11:26 am | Permalink

no need to explain yourself… :D ..17 days now… Ack! do i need to shop? oh my …

By Amy in StL on 07.01.08 2:42 pm | Permalink

Wow, I didn’t know you were Mormon. I find the lds so fascinating – probably because it’s reminds me of Catholicism – my religion of choice – with all the ceremony and stuff but more modern.

So do you think the lds church will ever change their stance on alcohol now that some kinds may be proven to be healthy for us in moderation?

Just asking, so don’t feel like you have to defend your religion. (Lord knows I did enough of that living in The South where my religion equals going to hell.)

By Amanda on 07.01.08 9:54 pm | Permalink

Wouldn’t ever force or judge.

If we all spent a bit more time adhering to the path that hurts us least, we’d all be better off.

See you in San Fran!

Amandas last blog post..The Powerlessness of Three

By Lawyer Mama on 07.03.08 3:33 pm | Permalink

For some reason I think I’m a great dancer when I drink. That right there is the number one reason why I shouldn’t.

If anyone gives you ****, let me know & I’ll dump my martini on them.

Lawyer Mamas last blog post..I Need You to Dress Me!

By Heather B. on 07.03.08 7:33 pm | Permalink

Soooo did you give away your drink tickets? Because I’m collecting them you know for my lush ways.

I love that we can still be friends even though I’m a huge lush and you aren’t.

Or at least that’s what I think might happen. We’ll still be friends, right? RIGHT?

Hey remember that time we had crushes on each other and we didn’t even know it? Good times. Remember that when you’re thinking about disowning me as a friend. ;-)

Heather B.s last blog post..Perfect Timing

By Isabel on 07.09.08 6:38 pm | Permalink

Holy crap…I was so afraid about this whole thing at last year’s BlogHer…I was SURE I would be the only person not drinking there and everyone would point and laugh at me.

And while they did point and laugh at me, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was sober!

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