We had been married about two years.
We had been given “Free Meal” certificates to a local Mexican restaurant.
We had two.
Not “Buy One Get One Free” but “Free Meal.”
But there was fine print:
“Limit one per table.”
After the server told us this, my husband piped up,
“What if we sit at different tables?”
Oh yes he did.
And yes we did.
Separate tables for the duration of our meals.
This was the night I realized I may very well be married to the CHEAPEST man alive, and it is the night he learned that cheapness doesn’t get you laid.
In fact all it really gets you is a lividly pissed off wife.
And who wants one of those?
***UPDATED 2/28/2008***
Did you get here from StumbleUpon? Yes? Well hey, how are you? If you’re thinking I’m some sort of two bit whore you’d be sorely mistaken. This was written with sarcasm, unfortunately first time readers (especially you men) who don’t know that I regularly employ sarcasm and don’t know that I joke on a regular (healthy) basis with my husband don’t see this as the funny little story it was meant to be. I adore my husbandand he adores me no matter how much money is or isn’t spent. We ordered, received and ate our food from different tables, then moved and sat with each other for dessert and never went back to the restaurant mentioned. So there is no need to call me a floozy, whore, tramp or bitch. Thank you very much. xoxo-Casey
*****
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Comments off.
By Laura on 01.30.08 12:21 am | Permalink
“Cheapness doesn’t get you laid” LOL
I thought they taught them that in dating school.
On the bright side…there were no dirty dishes.
Laura’s last blog post..Pep-talk
By Reese on 01.30.08 12:33 am | Permalink
Oh wow that’s awful.
Reese’s last blog post..Sleep
By Angella on 01.30.08 12:46 am | Permalink
Twitter: @AngellaD
Your husband and my husband?
Would be fast friends.
Angella’s last blog post..New Moon(s)
By Jolene on 01.30.08 12:55 am | Permalink
Okay, I nearly peed, a little.
My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t look at the price tags of ANYTHING he buys and has several ties in his wardrobe that cost more than some of my whole outfits.
No kidding.
At least he’s not cheap. Unfortunately, this means we’ll be poor forever…
By Barb on 01.30.08 1:01 am | Permalink
Twitter: @getupandplay
Classic man. He wants to solve the problem just for the sake of solving it. He thinks that a free meal is more important that sitting next to his wife…
Barb’s last blog post..President Hinckley
By fiveberries on 01.30.08 1:05 am | Permalink
Ah, yes, but really, who wants to do it with a man who just ate mexican food? I’m just sayin’…
fiveberries’s last blog post..pooped.
By Kimmie on 01.30.08 1:11 am | Permalink
Twitter: @kimsueellen
Phunee.
Kimmie’s last blog post..CAUGHT!
By EmilyPie on 01.30.08 1:15 am | Permalink
So I started BUSTING out laughing at this right.. so I felt the need to read it to my husband who was in the same room. I was reading to him and donkey-laughing so much while reading that it thoroughly pissed him off and he snapped at me.
thank you.
By Lynne on 01.30.08 1:18 am | Permalink
Holy cow! That worked? I guess he found out the price of free.
Lynne’s last blog post..Paging My Brain…
By seven on 01.30.08 1:43 am | Permalink
Twitter: @ohmyseven
Haha…that’s great.
seven’s last blog post..My Interview With Marriage-101
By Amanda on 01.30.08 2:10 am | Permalink
Could have been worse, you could have been taken to McDonalds with a free small fry coupon.
By Amy on 01.30.08 2:44 am | Permalink
Were you at least close enough to have a conversation, or did you have to yell across the restaurant?
Amy’s last blog post..Don’t Pinch Me Yet
By Jenni on 01.30.08 3:24 am | Permalink
Hmmm…I’m with him on this one. Gotta stick to the budget. I’m guessing the coupons didn’t apply to carry-out?
By janet on 01.30.08 4:22 am | Permalink
Twitter: @planetofjanet
wait. how did MY husband end up in your story????
janet’s last blog post..Bite me
By Marty on 01.30.08 6:12 am | Permalink
Too funny!
By Z on 01.30.08 8:56 am | Permalink
hahahaha! I think my husband might be in the running with yours, though he has never tried to pull that one! Thankfully, as he would then have to learn the exact same lesson as yours (up to this point, his little, ahem, quirks have been fairly cute and endearing. But that? Would just piss me off!)
Z’s last blog post..Marriage Assvice
By Liz on 01.30.08 9:22 am | Permalink
So your house is where my husband disappears to! That is horrible Casey but so funny, only because I can vividly see Spouse doing that to ME!
By janssen on 01.30.08 10:06 am | Permalink
Oh man, I’m so afraid that I would do the same thing. The cheapness – it plagues me.
janssen’s last blog post..The Real Reason You All Read My Blog
By Sadie on 01.30.08 10:21 am | Permalink
Twitter: @sadiecass
OH.MY.GOD!!!
That IS cheap!! *eeps* I would have been livid too!! Yeah, no lovin’s for the guy that does that. Being frugal is fine…dissing your wife for a free meal….not so much.
Sadie’s last blog post..Terminology Tuesday…
By Burgh Baby's Mom on 01.30.08 10:51 am | Permalink
See now, that would do it for me. Saving money is HOT!
By Megan on 01.30.08 11:32 am | Permalink
That is awesome. I think I would be in awe of my husband’s cleverness. I am the cheap on in the family.
Megan’s last blog post..All My Hopes and Dreams, Crushed… In 30 seconds.
By tatiana on 01.30.08 11:33 am | Permalink
Twitter: @rizado
possible solution when (not if) this happens again.
take his coupon.
tell him to leave.
and get his own meal.
and enjoy your free on in peace.
tatiana’s last blog post..scholastic update
By Amy on 01.30.08 11:37 am | Permalink
Twitter: @amy2boys
Oh dear God. He would get along famously with my husband. My husband has shown me an internet article about how to make your own juice boxes because it’s cheaper. He hangs laundry all over our deck (not mine – his) for all the neighborhood to see so as not to run the dryer in the summer. He complains if I put salt on the grocery list before we are officially out of salt.
(He’s getting better with age…)
I gave you an award today.
Amy’s last blog post..Gee Whiz, You Shouldn’t Have!
By Nic on 01.30.08 11:48 am | Permalink
Twitter: @notperfect
I think it shows amazing restraint that you didn’t physically harm him. I don’t know that I’m that strong.
Nic’s last blog post..Blech dreams.
By Mich on 01.30.08 12:04 pm | Permalink
NO WAY! I can’t believe that!
Your husband and my friend would get along great. She doesn’t tip waiters… EVER! I don’t go out with her anymore- it is too humiliating.
By Aimee Greeblemonkey on 01.30.08 12:07 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @greeblemonkey
That is freaking hilarious. But I can’t believe you played along!
By She Likes Purple on 01.30.08 12:11 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @shelikespurple
Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard.
By Adrienne on 01.30.08 12:23 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @Adriennevh
At least it wasn’t Valentine’s Day! He better really make this up to you then!
Adrienne’s last blog post..Hello
By Skye on 01.30.08 12:52 pm | Permalink
HILARIOUS
Skye’s last blog post..So sad..
By Loralee on 01.30.08 12:53 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @looneytunes
I’m sorry, but HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Dude.
Seriously? Seriously??
I feel your pain.
Loralee’s last blog post..The very last you will hear about it (I promise!)
By ali on 01.30.08 12:53 pm | Permalink
you are a better woman than i. our night might have ended in a lovely little divorce. ahahaha.
ali’s last blog post..they are all like me…totally quirk-filled (i. love. it.)
By heidikins on 01.30.08 1:06 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @heidikins13
Hahahaha! That is an absolutely fantastic story! love it!
xox
heidikins’s last blog post..Combating Winter Blah’s with Bleach
By Thomas Stromberg on 01.30.08 1:25 pm | Permalink
Hah! Now that takes cajones.
Your story sounds like something my in-laws would do, to be honest. Thankfully, my wife has grown out of the “must save money at the expense of everything else” mode. We still have dozens of cans of tomato paste from Sam’s in our pantry, even if we’ve never used it for cooking before.
Thomas Stromberg’s last blog post..Pay It Forward Progress
By erin on 01.30.08 1:59 pm | Permalink
okay.
i can’t stop laughing.
has he learned?
erin’s last blog post..pt update and other stuff.
By Laural on 01.30.08 2:22 pm | Permalink
After two years of marriage, love is still in the air. After five and a kid, I’d almost prefer separate tables!
Laural’s last blog post..Sibling Anxiety
By LifeAsIKnowIt on 01.30.08 2:36 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @LifeAsIKnowIt
And I thought I had the most frugal spouse…guess not!
Thanks for the laugh today. Yeah, I would have been pissed too!!
LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..On Strike
By Liam on 01.30.08 3:04 pm | Permalink
awww poor you, I say you go “Okay then you owe me a meal TOGETHER” then he will learn that it will just cost him more in the end.
PS dont hate the preggers
Liam’s last blog post..This week
By Biddy on 01.30.08 3:14 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @BiddyMcBidson
and when he’s a bigshot lawyer and you’re bathing in money, remind him of this when he gripes about your latest investment in something fabulous
Biddy’s last blog post..i owe, i owe, it’s back to work i go
By girl on 01.30.08 3:31 pm | Permalink
Ah seriously?
By Not your regularly scheduled programming | Linksational on 01.30.08 3:35 pm | Permalink
[...] lesson best learned early on in the [...]
By andrea on 01.30.08 3:37 pm | Permalink
I know my husband would totally considerate that option.
andrea’s last blog post..Why I Am a Geek – Reason 429
By Beth on 01.30.08 3:43 pm | Permalink
That has got to be the funniest thing ever!
My husband would probably add a “stein” or “berg” to the end of your last name – but he does that sort of thing since he is a ”
berg!” If you catch my drift!
By Wendy on 01.30.08 4:13 pm | Permalink
Mr. law school needs to read the fine print first, before he commits to the deal!
Meal: free
Anger seething from wife: priceless
Wendy’s last blog post..Learn-A-Word Wednesday: gnomic NOH-mik
By Jenny on 01.30.08 4:19 pm | Permalink
I love your blog. Your keep me entertained with your accurate outlook on life and all it has to offer.
I just wanted to tell you I am the wife of a Law student too (we actually used to live in Indy too, my husband did his first year of Law school at IU Indy with Jon S and Tom D, but we transferred to BYU to save money) and it does suck at times!!
By Worker Mommy on 01.30.08 4:32 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @twinmomoftwinz
Is it wrong that I laughed and did a silent cheer for Cody for beating (or is that “working”) the system. Sorry, Case.
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Is 4 too young to have the Talk ?
By Bethany on 01.30.08 4:49 pm | Permalink
I just love your blog
Bethany’s last blog post..While You Were Out
By Redneck Mommy on 01.30.08 5:31 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @redneckmommy.com
I suppose since the dinner was free, he could forgo the sweetness of dessert.
LOL.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Worms out of the Woodwork
By Amy Sorensen on 01.30.08 7:38 pm | Permalink
(I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!!
Amy Sorensen’s last blog post..Book Note: Miss Spitfire
By Amy Sorensen on 01.30.08 7:38 pm | Permalink
(I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!!
By jonolan on 01.30.08 8:14 pm | Permalink
A man of rare wisdom; not only were both dinners free, but there was a delicious lack of conversation.
Given the normal course of events when married couples converse, he stood little chance of getting laid anyways.
LOL!
jonolan’s last blog post..Adsense Optimization
By BOSSY on 01.30.08 8:48 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @BOSSY
Did the two separate tables come with a couple of megaphones? Sexy.
By kerrianne on 01.30.08 9:09 pm | Permalink
Frugal, frugal, that one. The image of the two of you at separate tables is hilarious. Especially if it involved you giving him the WTF? look while he was happily eating his enchiladas.
(Chris totally would have done the same, except he probably would have tried to order me a margarita or three, too.)
kerrianne’s last blog post..Beautiful, Sorta*
By Jill on 01.30.08 10:37 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @DiaperDiaries
This could possibly be the best blog post I have ever read. I teach marriage prep and if you don’t mind I may just use this post when teaching. Oh the hubby and I are giggling. Thanks for that.
Jill’s last blog post..Works For Me Wednesday- Be “That” mom
By Jenny on 01.31.08 1:08 am | Permalink
hahaha that is hilarious. i would totally do the same thing. his ass would be couch-bound for a LONG time.
Jenny’s last blog post..Possible 2008 Blog Party?
By Matt on 01.31.08 8:58 am | Permalink
And this is the reason why so many people are poor. Because they let companies get away with misleading advertising and just “fork over” the money as if it’s the their own fault when they get duped by a company. If any of our friends were to pull this on us we’d disown them, gossip about them, and throw a fit. If a company does it we sit there and just fork over the cash. My wife and I probably would have done the same thing (sit at separate tables) – though she’d not be trashing me on her blog, she’d be trashing the restaurant – who is the real jerk in this story. We’d have had a nice evening out together – AND not let a jerk company steal our money in the process.
By Shauna Loves Chocolate on 01.31.08 9:12 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @ChocolateShauna
That’s a whole new level of cheap that I’ve never heard of. All of a sudden, Gavin looks extravagant to me!
Shauna Loves Chocolate’s last blog post..Shauna, Where The Hell You Been?*
By cheapo the clown on 02.02.08 4:52 am | Permalink
so you only have sex with your husband when he spends money on you….. and that means you are a….
By Casey on 02.02.08 9:41 am | Permalink
Twitter: @mooshinindy
…a blogger who makes light of a fairly funny situation that happened early in her marriage?
Yep.
By Angie on 02.07.08 2:24 pm | Permalink
Couldn’t you have just picked up your plate and walked over to his table and acted like you just saw him…like a long lost..um…idiot? “Hey, how are you? Nice to see you! Mind if I sit down?” Really. What could they have done after they already served each of you? Forbid you to share a table?
By Melody on 02.08.08 12:35 am | Permalink
My husband and I read this together. Or rather, he read it outloud to me and I just happened to “stumble” upon it again and it reminded me of our conversation:
I said.. so.. what would be more important to YOU.. eating for free, or dining with your wife? He scratched his head.. got this evil little glint in his eye and said, “that would depend on what kind of food the restaurant had to offer”. To which I responded by slapping him playfully on the arm. In all seriousness, he responded correctly and accordingly: “Sweetie, (he calls me that sometimes.. mostly when he’s trying to get OUT of the bow-wow chateau), I would rather pay 100 dollars for a meal of my own than spend one moment without your company”.
(we’ve just been married for 8 months.. so.. wonder what kind of a response I’ll get in another 8 years or so.. and I’ll find out.. because I’ll remember this post and him, being a man, will forget by Friday). That’s tomorrow. hehehe
Good story! Hope you made him suffer a fair amount of time. I would have.
By cincinnati on 02.08.08 9:42 am | Permalink
If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were my long suffering sister in law. Great story
By Vajaria on 02.09.08 10:22 am | Permalink
I don’t think he did it just to save money, it was more that he enjoyed outsmarting them.
I thought he should get some credit just for that!… and yes I am a man.
By Dan on 02.18.08 8:41 pm | Permalink
While I totally agree being that cheap in poor taste, I did not see metion of resolving the issue with the husband.
A conversation about the problem is the first step to a resolution. Cutting him off only proves that prostitution is the worlds oldest profession. Somehow it is ok to cut off a spouse, while illegal for the cut off spouse to get some on the side weather it is paid for or not.
Dan’s last blog post..The End?
By Shannon on 04.13.08 8:58 am | Permalink
I came from StumbleUpon and I don’t think you’re a floozy.
Your story made me laugh. I hope you got white cheese dip!
Shannon’s last blog post..joy kill
By ingrid on 05.10.08 5:55 am | Permalink
I came from StumbleUpon too and I think you are great.
By Jessica on 11.27.08 1:10 am | Permalink
That is hysterical! I don’t think mine has ever done anything nearly that bad. I agree with Angie, who said that you should have pretended that you just met at the restaurant. Who knows, that could have led to some very kinky role playing! LOL
By Mel on 12.10.08 2:31 am | Permalink
I laugh.
Mostly because this seems like something I would be likely to do – more so than my husband. Or I would make a big enough fuss until they gave us the deal AND let us sit together. I’d leave a nice tip though. LOL.
By Candice on 02.04.09 11:12 pm | Permalink
My husband is also a cheapskate. What surprises me is that you actually ended up at a restaurant!
By Steven Fisher on 02.06.09 4:08 pm | Permalink
This is an awesome story. Because it is so predictable, so logical, so efficient, and so utterly stupid all at once. I could make that mistake, but I hope I never do. Thanks for sharing it.
By Jackie on 02.24.09 2:43 pm | Permalink
Ha! Your story is too funny. I’ve been married for 17 years. If it were us, I’d ask him to sit at the next table and he’d get a little somethin somethin for going along with it.
I’m far from cheap, but it would be hilarious to get around the restaurants cheesy marketing tactic.
By December on 04.01.09 7:31 pm | Permalink
This was awesome. Your husband is cheap, sorry to say. Ignore the one time readers that come here and tell you those things, anyone who has a brain can understand this was written in jest. I will be coming back here, for certain. Feel free to stop in sometime if you can!
Kudos, thumbs up.
Decembers last blog post..10 Ways to Ruin a Relationship.
By Ana on 04.10.09 1:19 am | Permalink
I can’t believe there are StumbleUpon readers who wouldn’t comment with such rude remarks! This is a humorous story, and it makes me sad that people can’t understand sarcasm and humor these days.
LOOSEN UP, PEOPLE.
Besides, if my husband did that to me, I would’ve been pretty annoyed, as well.
By blufindr on 04.11.09 10:05 am | Permalink
Ahahahahaha.
Your husband, my father, my best friend. All would become drinking buddies. Provided they had the appropriate coupons, of course.
By awesome on 05.01.09 11:20 pm | Permalink
I’d like to **** your ass