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If the kid breaks on your watch, these are the rules.
November 7, 2007

Okay so there’s really only one rule.

LEAVE A NOTE ON THE TABLE THAT SAYS “Dear wife, the moosh dislocated her elbow, she is fine, don’t worry, I took her to St. Francis at 7:30, be home soon. xoxo-Husband”

OR EVEN JUST “Don’t worry, the moosh is fine, at St. Francis, she dislocated her elbow. -Husband”

OR IF IT’S THAT HARD HOW ABOUT “moosh, elbow, St. Francis, fine.”

Instead I had to come home from a lovely dinner with friends to an empty house at 8:30 pm. Mom radar goes of when kids aren’t in bed at 8:30 and the car is gone.

Husband brain thinks “If I leave a Google page up with “Nursemaid’s Elbow” my wife will know EXACTLY what happened and will have complete faith in my parenting ability and won’t worry one bit.”

Wife brain thinks “Car gone, after bedtime, this can’t be good. Is there a note? NO! First, check for blood, nope, no blood trails, no blood in kitchen. Next, check moosh bed, blankets and woobie gone, must need soothing, maybe he left a note upstairs? NO! Computer, maybe he typed a note, take computer off screen saver, screen says “TAKE CHILD TO EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY” MY KID IS SICK! MY KID IS HURT! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE TO DINNER! I’LL NEVER SEE MY KID AGAIN! WHAT HOSPITAL? OH! WHAT HOSPITAL! Call, call hospital…Hello? Hospital? Is my kid there? NO! NO? WHERE IS MY KID? What other hospital? So it’s a dislocated elbow, it’s happened before, it can’t be that bad, BUT WOOBIE! WOOBIE IS IN THE CAR! THE CAR THAT HAS BEEN AT THIS SHOP FOR TWO DAYS AND IS GOING TO BE $1,600 TO FIX! $1,600, Seriously? That’s insane, they should have car repair insurance.THE INSURANCE CARD! HE DOESN’T HAVE THE INSURANCE CARD! HE DOESN’T KNOW HER SOCIAL! Has he ever taken her to the doctor? Oh, the medical bills, the car! I have no car! I can’t even go if I do find them. MY BABY IS SOMEWHERE CRYING NEEDING HER MOM AND I’M HERE! Call Elisabeth, she’ll let me borrow her car! What? Elisabeth isn’t home? SHE NEEDS TO CALL ME! Call hospital, maybe they just got there. Hello? Hospital? WHAT? THEY ALREADY LEFT? BUT YOU SAID THEY HAD NEVER BEEN THERE! How long ago did they leave? They’re not home yet! DID THEY DIE ON THE WAY HOME? Because they’re not home yet! WHERE ARE THEY AND WHY IS THERE NO NOTE!?!?!?!?!?!?”

Then they came home.

The kid is fine. The doctor gave her a pig and three Dora stickers. She got to stay up two hours past her bed time, in all reality she couldn’t be better.

Cody doesn’t get why I’m a little miffed.

Moms? Explain please.

Husbands? Take note. (Literally.)

Related posts:

  1. Why kids should always get cookies whenever they ask for them.

Comments off.

By Liz on 11.07.07 8:51 am | Permalink

Is it wrong to laugh? This is exactly how things would happen in my house. Luckily I’ve been home for all ER Trips so far but I have no doubt we’ll be faced with this situation someday since spouse has a history of things happening on ‘his watch’ LOL. I’m glad Moosh is OK and take it easy on poor husband. He handled it well :)

By phenom on 11.07.07 9:31 am | Permalink

umm… duly noted.

By Sarah on 11.07.07 9:41 am | Permalink

I’m waiting for the story about how she dislocated her elbow in the first place. Does Cody not have a cell phone?
I would have been going crazy, too. Glad to here everything is fine now. :)

By erin on 11.07.07 10:16 am | Permalink

oy.

the pains of motherhood.

and being married to a man;)

By erin on 11.07.07 10:34 am | Permalink

My husband would have done the same thing:o
How did it happen?

By Must be Motherhood on 11.07.07 10:37 am | Permalink

My husband probably would have called me sixteen times during the whole process and made me feel guilty for going to dinner with girlfriends. Sooooo, maybe you’re lucky you’ve got an independent man who can take care of business? ;P

Glad she’s okay!

By janet on 11.07.07 10:41 am | Permalink

i came home from work one day and found my house empty. no kids, no babysitter. pot of mac and cheese still on the stove. and blood. oh the blood.

turns out sitter had cut herself BADLY and all were at the ER.

can we say panicked mother?

By rachel on 11.07.07 10:49 am | Permalink

I swear I’m not laughing. Okay, well… maybe a little. Poor you. Oh the things I have to look forward to!
We have a similar story from growing up… but I won’t share it here :-)

By EmilyPie on 11.07.07 11:04 am | Permalink

I agree with Must Be Motherhood, my husband would have also called 16 times to make me feel guilty.. but then again, we only have dogs. I love you crazy hectic thoughts!

By Christine on 11.07.07 11:12 am | Permalink

Parenting 101 – leave note for parent. Better yet, give you a quick call on the cell. If you don’t have a cell, you need one. Tracfone’s are cheap. Pay for the minutes you use. But, the note would have been better. Since there was no emergency, he didn’t need to ruin your evening out. A note on the island or counter would have been perfect.

I’ll bet his defense was that he thought he’d be back before you? Yeah. He’s never been to an ER or doctor’s office, has he? hmmmmph!

By Butrfly Garden on 11.07.07 11:13 am | Permalink

Oh. I would kill him.

No, seriously, I blogged once about when I tried getting ahold of The Man one day that he was home with the kids. I called for a couple HOURS, five minutes apart, then repeatedly, Cell Phone, House Phone, Cell Phone, House Phone…and NO ANSWER. I sped the whole way home, FREAKING OUT and got home to him like, “Hey, babe…what’s wrong?” Turns out, his cell phone and ALL THREE cordless phones were in my bedroom upstairs UNDER the bedding and they were all downstairs in the family room. It took me a few hours to be “okay” again and there weren’t even any injuries involved!!

I totally feel for ya, and I’m glad the moosh is okay.

By ali on 11.07.07 11:15 am | Permalink

um…i would have at least expected a text message. :)

By Mommy Daisy on 11.07.07 11:16 am | Permalink

Dear husbands,

Never leave the house in an emergency without calling or leaving your wife a note. Failing to do so may result in a heart attack.

Love,
Wives everywhere

By Teri on 11.07.07 11:23 am | Permalink

I would have had to be sedated.

By Amy on 11.07.07 11:29 am | Permalink

OK I’m laughing a little. But he should have called.

(Mine probably would have called. I’m fairly sure. And mine responds best to text messages. And he definetly would have received some txting!!)

By Velveteen Mind Megan on 11.07.07 12:05 pm | Permalink

Thank you, Casey, for teaching my husband this lesson. He found your frantic IM before I did and kept checking in all night to see if the moosh was okay or not.

The opportunity to say, “See? See! This is what happens if you don’t think to leave a note for the mom!” did not escape me. Several times. ;)

By CarmelMomSue on 11.07.07 12:21 pm | Permalink

I had a kind of reverse situation. I was out ot eat with the girls, when all of a sudden Julia is burning up and glassy eyed. Called the hubs at work and cell with no answer. Ran her to St. Vincent’s Immediate Care and left a text message that said, “Julia is at St. V’s Immediate Care. Nothing major.” He gets the text and only sees the “Julia is at St. V’s” and doesn’t bother to scroll downto the other text lines and read the rest. He freaks and calls my cell, which is off, 85 bajillion times in the next hour. I got out, turn my phone on and listen to increasingly more panicked and offensive VM’s. We walk in the door and he starts screaming at me. I got his cell and showed him HOW TO USE IT. He is lucky I didn’t lodge his phone somewhere.

Glad the Moosh is ok. I think he could have called your cell at a minimum. Men.

By Lindy on 11.07.07 1:09 pm | Permalink

I hope moosh is fine now. Men are such idiots sometimes.

By Mrs. Mustard on 11.07.07 1:26 pm | Permalink

Oh man. Tony does that to me all the time. Obviously not in the case of hospitals, but just taking off with Sacha, saying he’s going to church, and not coming home until 3 hours later when I know damn well that church is an hour, tops.
Loving your posts about how the moosh came to be. LOVING then!

By NotSoSage on 11.07.07 1:55 pm | Permalink

My policy: leave a note any time you leave the house unexpectedly with the child, even if it’s just to satisfy said child’s incessant demands to go to the park across the street. Or deal with Insaneo-Mom the instant you get home.

Unfortunately, I have yet to find a way to deliver this memo effectively to the hubs…

By major bedhead on 11.07.07 2:24 pm | Permalink

Cast iron skillet, meet skull. Skull says “How do you do?” Cast iron skillet says “Ka-thwannnnnnggggg.”

Rinse and repeat as necessary.

By ~JJ! on 11.07.07 3:02 pm | Permalink

Holy **** I would have called 911.

So happy she is okay.

Did hubby survive?

By Shauna on 11.07.07 3:14 pm | Permalink

Glad the moosh is okay.
And AMEN about the notes!

By Jennifer on 11.07.07 3:27 pm | Permalink

Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody. What ARE we gonna do about you! As Casey stated, a note is a MUST. This was just cruel and unusual. And since you’re going to be a lawyer, it’s time for you to know that cruel and unusual is illegal.

Poor mama. Poor moosh. Poor Cody, too.

By Heather on 11.07.07 5:11 pm | Permalink

Hello Cody

This is a mom who rushed her kid to the doctor’s office because he cut his finger and it wouldn’t stop bleeding and I panicked because I just knew he needed stitches.

His nurse put a band aid on the cut and sent us home.

Yes, Casey’s rules are THE RULES because good moms have heart attacks when even minor cuts and bruises happen to their babies.

It’s what good moms do.

It’s The Rule.

Follow it.

Or you might suffer the consequences in the bedroom.

By kris on 11.07.07 5:36 pm | Permalink

Poor Moosh.

Poor Mommy.

Dumb Cody.

By Kristin on 11.07.07 5:50 pm | Permalink

Agggggg!
Aon’t you people own cell phones? I bet my hubby would be calling me on the way to the hospital, but like yours, he wouldn’t have left a note. Notes “take too long” according to my hubby.

By BOSSY on 11.07.07 7:10 pm | Permalink

Bossy’s husband is sort of all, “But I couldn’t find any paper.” Exactly. And Bossy will see you when you get back from Office Max.

By BBM on 11.07.07 7:44 pm | Permalink

As a future lawyer, Cody should know very well by now that documentation is the key to escaping many situations. You have no evidence that you didn’t think it was a big deal and hoped to beat Mom home if you don’t write the note. Write the damn note, Cody!

By FENICLE on 11.07.07 10:40 pm | Permalink

Dude, did you need a Xanax to calm down after all that? I would have. Geez.

Yes, men – it’s all in the details. Must have details.

By Jim Thomsen on 11.07.07 11:31 pm | Permalink

Men are stupid.

By pgoodness on 11.07.07 11:35 pm | Permalink

I was breathless reading your account of it! Yes. Notes. Phones calls. Email. Text message. All effective methods of stopping the heart attack before it happens.

By Kimmie on 11.08.07 2:59 am | Permalink

Ooo big, big no no. I guess you could delight in the fact he put the concern of Moosh first and just left w/out taking the time to leave a note…I guess there IS solice in that. But next time…totally leave a note Cody. Oi the Nursmaid Elbow strikes again!

By OMSH on 11.08.07 1:22 pm | Permalink

Truly, that is terror. TERROR.

No knowledge.
No way to contact.
No knowledge.
WHERE IS MY CHILD(REN)!

Gaaaahhh!

Boy needs to learn to write a note.

By kittenpie on 11.08.07 8:14 pm | Permalink

Oh, yeah. I’d lose it, too. In fact, on the occasional occasions when I get home at 6:30 and the house is empty, I totally panic about whether Misterpie managed to get Pumpkinpie at daycare or if she is now sitting in a police station somewhere or picked up by Children’s Aid or something and if she’s all freaked out and OMG where are they wherearetheywherearethey?!?!?!

By LawyerMama on 11.09.07 11:28 pm | Permalink

I’ll come over there and smack him. Do you think he’ll get it then?

By LunaNik on 11.11.07 3:17 pm | Permalink

Oh I can so relate. I can’t tell you how mad I was the coupla times I came home (I worked nights) to hubby saying, “umm, we had a little incident” Why he never bothered to call and let me know is beyond me. So glad Moosh is ok!

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